from our newsletter, written by Linda Lin, RCC, RCAT

Growing up my grandma who raised me always said, “friendships and learning to connect with others help us cross the bridges of life” 🪷 ୧ ‧ ˚ (this is roughly translated to English)

A couple of decades later, I find myself circling back to her wisdom, because building connections and friendships is active resistance to capitalism and individualism. Friendship is a refusal of a culture that tells us to stay polished, self-contained, hyperindependent, and endlessly ‘productive’.

But here’s the question, how do we actually build real friendships when we’re swimming in a culture that glorifies capitalism, perfectionism, and even buying into community, when it's dressed up as 'self-respect'?

via Pinterest

-`♡´- -`♡´- -`♡´- -`♡´- -`♡´- -`♡´- -`♡´- -`♡´- -`♡´- -`♡´-

Reciprocity is the heartbeat of relationship.

Robin Wall Kimmerer reminds us that reciprocity is the heartbeat of relationship. The Earth offers us gifts—berries, shade, clean water—not so we can hoard them, but so we can learn the joy of giving back. Reciprocity flows in a circle, isn't one-sided, sustaining everyone involved. It also reminds me of generosity, a value my mother taught me.

When we strive to live in the rhythm of reciprocity instead of keeping score, we learn to offer, and make room to receive. 

We make listening as important as speaking, holding as important as being held. 

 Reciprocity doesn’t keep score; it trusts that when we give, it returns in another form, in another season.

-`♡´-  -`♡´-  -`♡´-  -`♡´-  -`♡´-  -`♡´-  -`♡´-  -`♡´-  -`♡´-  -`♡´-  

sleepover and zine making a friend~

Prioritize connection > productivity! 

Individualism and capitalism teaches us to prioritize our needs above our communities and view relationships as transactional.

It's literally designed to keep us in disconnection and in loneliness.

There were so many days when I find myself after a full day of work and feeling so exhausted to make plans with people who support my nervous system and would interrupt these cycles of anxiety.

snippet of my friendship mantras zine!

✦ ‧₊˚ ⋅✦ ‧₊˚ ⋅✦ ‧₊˚ ⋅✦ ‧₊˚ ⋅✦ ‧₊˚ ⋅✦ ‧₊˚ ⋅✦ ‧₊˚ ⋅✦ ‧₊˚ ⋅✦ ‧₊˚ ⋅✦ ‧₊˚ ⋅

Rest and pleasure are portals to receiving care and love ♡

Especially when we are trained/conditioned to work, serve, and over-function, choosing rest, joy, pleasure, and time with friends is a way to restore love’s presence in our lives. Communion helps us interrupt cycles of hurt: healing personal wounds with relationships and those passed down through generations and systemic oppression. 

Prioritizing our needs is not above our relationships (capitalism/individualism) nor is our relationship above our needs (relational trauma/wounding).

✦ ‧₊˚ ⋅✦ ‧₊˚ ⋅✦ ‧₊˚ ⋅✦ ‧₊˚ ⋅✦ ‧₊˚ ⋅✦ ‧₊˚ ⋅✦ ‧₊˚ ⋅✦ ‧₊˚ ⋅✦ ‧₊˚ ⋅✦ ‧₊˚ ⋅

via Pinterest

⊹₊｡ꕤ˚₊⊹⊹₊｡ꕤ˚₊⊹⊹₊｡ꕤ˚₊⊹⊹₊｡ꕤ˚₊⊹⊹₊｡ꕤ˚₊⊹⊹₊｡ꕤ˚₊⊹⊹₊｡ꕤ˚₊⊹⊹₊｡ꕤ˚₊⊹

Communion is the antidote to loneliness and alienation! 

Communion counters loneliness and alienation. Our culture reinforces individualistic behaviours, which shape how we maintain—or let go of—relationships, like the drifting or disappearance of friendships in adulthood after life changes such as moving away, starting a new relationship, landing a new job, or having a child.

bell hooks reminds me in Communion that true connection invites us into intimacy, belonging, and presence. 

I’ve been practicing little ways of stepping off the hamster wheel, where I prioritize friendships and relationships instead of letting the system dictate my pace. I’m learning again and again that connection can be one of our greatest sources of nourishment and healing.

When we slow down enough to be with a friend, we’re pushing back against the myth that our value lies only in output.

Whether it’s cooking a meal together, walking or playing at the park, or even having an adult sleepover (SO fun), friendships are how we choose connection over keeping score, competition, and the endless busyness capitalism asks of us. 𖦹

⊹₊｡ꕤ˚₊⊹⊹₊｡ꕤ˚₊⊹⊹₊｡ꕤ˚₊⊹⊹₊｡ꕤ˚₊⊹⊹₊｡ꕤ˚₊⊹⊹₊｡ꕤ˚₊⊹⊹₊｡ꕤ˚₊⊹⊹₊｡ꕤ˚₊⊹

So here's to choosing each other in a culture that doesn't.

₊˚🍏 ྀ౿ written by yours truly, Linda

Community building events coming to Decipher this Fall/Winter!

✮ monthly TEAR CLUB! (anti-perfectionism) with Chloe, our art therapist .ᐟ.ᐟ ˚⊹

 

✮ weekly OFF-SCREEN HOURS art therapy drop-ins with our interns coming soon .ᐟ.ᐟ ⋆˙⟡

A space where we can build community, make art, and connect more deeply with yourself and the world! Think of it as a group therapy session, but in a fun, casual, community-focused way, away from screens and winding down from our week.

Also a perfect activity for rainy days with a friend or two in our studio located in downtown ‘Vancouver’.

Check back soon for updates!

✮ monthly TEAR CLUB! (a soft space for inner child-like joy) with Chloe, our art therapist / counsellor.ᐟ.ᐟ ˚⊹

✮ weekly OFF-SCREEN HOURS digital detox drop-ins with our interns, Nikki (art therapist/counsellor-to-be) and Michelle (counsellor-to-be) .ᐟ.ᐟ ⋆˙⟡

Need an artist date ASAP? No idea where to go on a rainy weekend? 

Join us at tear club! with Chloe: ​Welcome to tear club! — a monthly, soft-guided, open studio style collage workshop. Every month, we will connect with our inner child-like joy, with the Sanrio character, Pompompurin as our cheerleader for November!

​why tear club? ✂️✨

A lot of us want to slow down but don’t always know how.

the purpose of tear club is to…

⭑ calm/connect with your nervous system to reduce stress levels.

⭑ spark creativity + problem-solving skills!

⭑ build social connections + feelings of joy outside of work/capitalism.

⭑ embrace our imperfections with curiosity instead of pressure.

📅 Upcoming: Sunday, Nov 23rd @ 1:30pm - 3:30pm

​🎟️ Tickets: $20 ; 6 spots max! Save your spot

​📍Location: Decipher Counselling Art Therapy Studio
Room #316, 402 W Pender St, Vancouver

🍎 About the Facilitator:

𖦹 Hi, I’m Chloe! Currently taking on new clients for individual therapy sessions!
𖦹 Qualifying counselling art therapist + art school grad
𖦹 Avid Sanrio fan + recovering perfectionist
𖦹 tear club! is my way of mixing nostalgia, comfort + the healing power of art.

Follow Chloe's art on Instagram @hichloekwok and if you’d updates on future art therapy workshops, check out @deciphercounselling or visit our website.

Lately we’ve been feeling how hard it is to be human in a world that never stops. 

Notifications, deadlines, the pressure to always be available and productive. We’re constantly connected, yet more disconnected than ever.

Off-Screen Hours is a space to step away from the noise. 

To rest, make art, and heal in community.

Intentional breaks from screens and the grind of constant doing, slowing down long enough to feel present again. ˚⊹

⊹ ࣪ ˖ Series 1: Digital Disconnection explores how technology shapes the ways we connect, communicate, and care for ourselves
 

Nov 14 → Algorithmic Loneliness — isolation in the age of constant connection (1 spot left)

Nov 21 → Digital Ghosts — what remains of us in digital spaces, and releasing what no longer serves us (4 spots left)

Nov 28 → Lost in Transmission — what gets lost in digital communication: the emotions and presence screens cannot carry (5 spots left)

Expect gentle art making, reflection, and conversation as we find our way back to ourselves and each other. ˚⊹

📅 When: weekly Fridays 3-5pm starting on Nov 14th.
🎟️ Tickets: $20 / workshop [coupons on lu.ma]
📍 Location: Decipher Studio B [room 317 - 402 west pender st.]
max 5 participants | masks encouraged

Your facilitators:

Nikki Hayashi (she/her), a mixed-race, neurodivergent, and queer practicum counselling art therapist grounded in intersectional feminism + narrative therapy. Helps you reclaim the stories that feel most true to you.
 

Michelle Jeong (she/her), a queer, neurodivergent, chronically ill practicum counsellor and eldest daughter of Korean immigrants. Brings warmth, curiosity, and 10+ years of supporting survivors & folks navigating trauma.

We believe rest is resistance, and that healing happens together.

✨ Come as you are. Take a breath. Log off for a while. 🌳

quick note: this blog post is not written by AI. The writing below features ideas and wisdom of artists, personal journalling and newsletter writing, curated to what a therapist feels the world is needing these days. 

Image via @realizationbypea

from our newsletter, written by Linda Lin, RCC, RCAT

Be real with me… what is your relationship with time like?  ୧ ‧ ˚ 

When I am overwhelmed, time feels like the scariest, most unattainable currency that I cannot get back once it pasts by. From the hours, minutes to seconds, I find myself reacting to my thoughts, the ‘standards’ and shoulds on how I need to be spending my time and transforming it into something valuable, productive, ~rich~.

This obsession leaks into how I see money, work, relationships and I'd hate to admit this, my entire sense of self.

I’ve met so many people who try to force outcomes to ‘shape their reality.’ That might look like getting a perfect job with no career gaps or trying to appear as though they have their life together by a certain age (we're not even on linkedin btw •̀ ᴖ •́). Over time, those expectations can attach themselves to our identity and perceived reality.

via pinterest

The more we obsess over time, the more it breeds fear, frustration, hesitation and misalignment.

Did you know? 
Your energy is your most VALUABLE resource in life.

Therefore where you put your time and attention determines everything.

Instead of forcing outcomes, what if we start curating your reality with alignment, creative direction, and thoughtful refinement. Like an artist curating their work 𖦹

via pinterest

I journaled this the other day: “my relationship with time is kind, sweet, caring, full of life, light”

Perhaps mourning/stressing about time and next thing, which is heavy in weight, is dictating a relationship with time that isn’t valuable to me!

We cannot time hop in multiple streams of consciousness. 

So disappointing, am I right? It's really too bad that we can’t live in every parallel timeline like we are everything everywhere all at once. Trying to juggle all the goals, tasks, and “what ifs,” whether it’s making our days off perfect or savouring the end of summer, usually just leaves us with an abstract and confused state of feeling.

HOWEVER, I’ve been thinking a lot about quantum leaping, also called timeline jumping. The idea is that if you’re on level 1 and you want to get to level 8, it’s really about giving yourself room to believe that level 8 is just the next step, waiting for you.

Time is not something we need to centre and obsess over.

Thanks to this tiktok I watched last month, I've been on this case ever since. Obsessing about time traps us in procrastination, locks us into overwhelm, and confines us to cycles of productivity and capitalist urgency which are the very things we don’t want taking over our lives.

When our most easeful and fluid path (the realm where time flow exists) starts to blur under pressure, how can we anchor ourselves to remember how we want time and life to truly feel?

Here’s your art journalling prompt:

Draw and describe how fluid time is to you currently. Draw a portal that allows you to experience time the way you want time to feel.
 

Use your fave mediums: Mine are stickers, collaging, digital media like Pinterest images, sparkly gel pens, words, pencil crayons, oil pastels, coloured pens to express myself.

From this prompt, TIME IS A MEADOW came up for me. I call her, Mother Time. Instead of me trying to micro-manage/control time, or duelling it out with time, she is here to support me. This isn't a battle. I also don't have to mother time. Time is here for me and with me. I'm rolling with it and curious to what this art prompt will reveal for you!

TLDR; or don't feel like journalling? Try reflecting on this in the month ahead:

✩ Gently build curiosity by learning your unique rhythm and pace.

✩ Practice your ability to redirect and focus with purpose and intention. 

✩ Slowly expand your capacity for flow instead of control with time.

I see you! ⋆˙⟡ written by yours truly, Linda

DreamLab : An Art Therapy Experience Rooted in Dreams and Inner Landscapes, Inspired by Marin Majić’s roundabout as part of CICA’s Art & Mindfulness series

The Art and Mindfulness Experience Series at CICA Vancouver is designed to explore the profound connection between artistic expression and mindfulness. Rooted in the belief that art is a powerful medium for healing and self-discovery, this series invites participants to engage in reflective and grounding practices through creative expression.

Art, in its many forms, offers a pathway to mindfulness by encouraging presence, introspection, and emotional release. Whether through painting, sculpture, movement, or sound, the act of creating becomes a meditative process that fosters deep awareness and healing. Our series harnesses this transformative power of art to create accessible spaces for mindfulness that center BIPOC, women, and queer communities.

Facilitated by artists and mindfulness practitioners from these communities, each experience is designed to hold space for collective healing and cultural storytelling. This platform not only nurtures personal well-being but also elevates the work of marginalized practitioners, providing them with visibility and opportunities within Vancouver’s art and wellness landscapes.

Event Details:

Save the date: Saturday, June 14, 3–5 PM

CICA Vancouver | Facilitated by our RTC and Art Therapist, Coco Huang

Only 20 spots available

Join us for DreamLab, the first workshop in CICA’s new programming series, Art and Mindfulness—a series designed to explore the profound connection between artistic expression and mindfulness. Rooted in the belief that art is a powerful medium for healing and self-discovery, these experiences invite participants to engage in reflective and grounding practices through creative expression.
Led by Coco Huang  a Registered Therapeutic Counsellor and Art Therapist at Decipher Counselling  this immersive 2-hour session includes dream journaling, grounding exercises, and sensory art-making. The experience begins with a walk-through of roundabout by Marin Majić, setting the tone for exploring subconscious landscapes and inner symbols through art.
Together, we’ll breathe, create, and co-regulate in a supportive space centered on healing, curiosity, and community. No prior art experience needed. All materials provided.