written by Linda Lin, RCC RCAT

Year end / holiday stress is so real. 

Many of us enter December already depleted, with our numbing or protective safety behaviours running on overdrive.

So I wanted to write a newsletter to validate some of these experiences and patterns I’ve been noticing. 

These patterns can be so familiar that they often go unnoticed, even when we know this season feels heavier than it appears from the outside.

Please note that language I use may sound ‘too clinical’ so if you’d like to personalize with different language/words to describe similar things, go for it!

The end of the year often asks us to push through exhaustion, emotions, and (over)stimulation.

This time of year often stirs up financial pressure to find the perfect gifts, brings complicated interpersonal or family dynamics to the surface, and encourages us to wrap things up or end on a high note. 

It’s easy to become overstimulated by end-of-year sales (side note: did you know we can be exposed to 4,000 to 10,000 ads a day?), while juggling invitations and obligations, both external and internal, and navigating feelings of isolation when we’re “supposed” to feel joyful, restful, and connected. 

The stress can affect our body weeks or even months before anything actually happens at all.

A lot of us are going through this month with our safety behaviours activated. These behaviours help us numb or cope with discomfort so we don’t have to fully feel or process it. 

Safety behaviours are any acts that reduce distress in the short term by anticipating or preparing for the worst, often increasing our perception of fears. They can be very sneaky, work alongside anxiety, and often go unnoticed, leaving us feeling confused, lost, and overwhelmed.

Some examples of safety behaviours I’ve noticed (not exhaustive!):

• Overcleaning or working overtime

• Bed rotting but not allowing for true rest

• Frozen in doomscrolling

• Retail therapy or overconsumption

• Comfort eating, or restricting/picking/counting/purging, or obsessing over food/”health”/body

• Exercising excessively with little to no recovery

• Always trying to fix ourselves without ever celebrating our wins

• Avoiding conflict by pleasing others (while we have no idea what our needs are)

• Rehearsing how situations will play out at future gatherings

• Replaying something you said or something unresolved over and over in our mind

• Hyper-vigilance or hyper-independence that feels “right”

• Fixating on rigid routines that fuel perfectionism

• Harsh internal dialogue when routines are disrupted or our goals aren’t met

• Numbing with something because you feel distressed or irritated at ourselves, others, systems, or the world

• Exhaustion from masking or showing up performatively at gatherings

• Texting back immediately even when we have no more capacity, or the latter, avoiding texting back for weeks

• Seeking reassurance from others for most decisions we need to make

• Intellectualizing or over-analyzing everything.

Good news is that there are patterns / wiring that we start to become more aware of! 

Here's what safety behaviours have in common:

• Coping, not processing: They keep us “safe” momentarily, but not in the long term.

• They play on our fears: Safety behaviours increase our perception of existing fears. They make fear feel more intense or obsessive, rather than helping us heal from it.

• They respond to urgency: Acting “before the shoe drops,” safety behaviours turn anxious thoughts into rules, rituals, or compulsions in the hope of preventing a consequence. These can be physical actions, mental acts, or rigid routines we feel we have to do in the moment—or else.

• They've worked before: At some point in history, these behaviours helped you cope and feel safe. That’s why they’re so familiar, and may even feel safe and comforting.

• They dislike uncertainty: Safety behaviours often show up when situations are unpredictable, unresolved, or ambiguous.

Some practices I’ve been using for long-term care and support instead of safety behaviours:

• Catching, disengaging, and redirecting from my safety behaviours toward what actually matters. For example a fear I’m working through, always feeling responsible for my team, is gradually being redirected into the belief that I am becoming a stronger leader and team member.

• Making, creating, or crafting something with my hands (great for slowing down). 
  
  Enter our giveaway to drop in access to Off Screen Hours and an art journalling kit here: a special collab with 1912 Amax Stationery.
   

• Reducing screen time on my phone, using apps like Opal to block distracting social media during the week for more mindful consumption.

• Allowing 15+ minutes of boredom each day to check in with my nervous system and mind-body.

• Eating food that keeps me satiated, exciting, and simple (base repetitive, toppings rotated!).

• Moving in ways that make me feel strong while allowing ample recovery time. Lately I’ve been enjoying low-impact, high-intensity workouts (iykyk!).

• Inviting friends to do mundane activities: dog walks, grocery shopping, co-working, cooking a meal together, or asking them for help (this one is huge for me).

What have you been practicing? 

Below I'm sharing my fave reflection questions that really help slow me down (fyi they can go deep)!

Since we tend to be reflective during this time of year, I’m inviting us to journal, discuss with a good friend and/or make some art to check in with ourselves if safety behaviours have been showing up.

Get your tea, pens and stickers ready! ⊹

• What signals do my body give me when I feel safe, and when I feel overwhelmed?
• What are my safety behaviours? List them out and try calling them out. (see above for some examples)
• What are my go-to ways of avoiding or distracting from conflict or discomfort?

• What feelings have been harder to feel lately?
• Are there parts of me that learned to stay quieter/numb/unnoticed to stay safe?
• What does this protective strategy/response want me to know?
• Where do I notice myself toning down or editing parts of who I am, especially around others this season?
• What has it taken for me to arrive here, and what needs acknowledgement and care?

In a society designed to keep us numbing, with no time to slow down, where rest is mistaken for laziness and bursts of anxiety are mistaken for productivity, our awareness is rebellion. Slowing down to notice our limits, finding ways out of misery and fear, and understanding our grief are acts of resistance. And this resistance doesn’t have to feel endless or scary.

If you’re needing some extra love and support navigating these complex experiences, our team is here for you!

May this season of reflection lead us to explore moments for rest, awareness, and connection to support us into the new year. Take good care, First name / friendsee you in 2026 ♡

Sincerely, 
Linda

Enter our giveaway before the end of the year (Dec 31st, 2025) for a chance to win: 
📓 Drop-in access to weekly Off Screen Hours (Friday workshops until Feb 2026)*
🖋️ An AMAX journaling kit — Hitotoki notebook + Pentel brush pen set

written by Linda Lin, RCC RCAT

Doom-scrolling was officially added to the dictionary in 2020. It has been a cultural phenomenon since.

And we’re fed 4,000–10,000 ads a day.
No wonder our average screen time are shocking at the end of each week (let alone another person if they saw).

Let’s be real, this constant stimulation taxes our executive function (our memory, focus, decision-making) and keeps our bodies in a continuous state of high alert.

“Staying informed” is more disconnecting than landing informed.

Engaging in the digital realm is rocky and exhausting in 2025. Like holding one too many deep dives into gaps in knowledge, where my mind stays eerily wired to every subculture at once. 

A truly overstimulating space.

How much can my mind hold at once? With so much content that's unfiltered and never really thought through, I see myself stuck in an echo chamber, picking up whatever the algorithm feeds me.

It's not all in your head.

Dominant cultures — the ways we uphold individualism, ableism, consumer-driven capitalism, the “work myth” that success equals happiness, gender norms like weddings and having kids, hating and cancelling certain groups of people, or conforming our bodies and identities to fit in — keep us isolated and fearful of each other.

Much of this comes from how the digital space itself is intended and structured, rather than any failure on our part to “use it correctly.”

Despite the sense of predictability doomscrolling can bring while times are hard and uncertain, it also…

• Makes me wired on the dominant cultures and trends
Consumerism, capitalism/urgency, what is happening in the world and in specific spaces/VERY niche groups so that I won't get 'cancelled'. That I stay 'radical', 'up to date' enough on 'better ways to show up' because as a human, I just want to connect and belong somewhere.

• Subconsciously tries to make myself palatable, attracting to most rooms I enter while fearing to be deeply loved or misunderstood. My human need to stay safe, and avoid threats like rejection.

• Ruins my relationships: it's the diagnosing and replaying every interaction after taking in opinions/content that I deemed in that one split second it spoke to my issues within a current relationship. It exacerbates my fear of being a burden, feeling burnt out already so I can't make room for inconvenience or vulnerability, and alas, choosing to stay isolated.

• Sometimes dives into more info through intellectualizing which isn't all that helpful. Going down a rabbit hole of diagnosing myself and scrolling through everyone else's stories often pushes me into extremes — thinking in black-and-white, with thoughts like “everything, everyone, no one, others all have, I'm the only one, I should, I have to…” It's easy to get caught up in the highlights, fast info dumps, and all the emotionally charged hooks online.

• Builds distrust instead of believing I can do hard things: like taking the next step and processing painful experiences like loneliness and not being understood. After all, motivation and clarity isn't something we start with, but something we generate.

It's a brain that's depleted yet craving ease, turning to short term relief instead of what truly helps me in the long run. 

Coming up with prescriptions that are accessible, resonating and convenient can be hard! And it needs to speak to the nuances I'm dealing with. 

Below are some things I am doing instead of doomscrolling and pleasing the algorithm. P.S. I am taking my own prescriptions!

Here is what I am doing instead of doomscrolling 

…because we feel better once we do it.

(FYI - as the list goes on, it may get harder to practice)

𖥔 Choosing other screens that are comforting: calming games, an old drama for nostalgia, a podcast / longer form content that isn't overstimulating, or putting on a playlist (maybe that's why so many of us are listening to jazz)

𖥔 Movement: deep stretches, trying out new classes with friends, autumn walks with dogs are my top 3 faves at the moment! I've been visiting a new (dog)park every weekend, unlocking/uncovering more of the city.

𖥔 What I Deserve: instead of looking to belong somewhere or reaching a subculture in my doomscrolling journey where I can feel like someone's speaking on what I'm going through, I am practicing being intentional towards understanding myself and what I deserve with hard things I'm going through.

𖥔 2 items that prompt me to just start. Getting out of bed and brushing my teeth to start the day. Getting an emotional support drink with my laptop for admin work. For myself, every creative project starts with a pen and paper. This combo is like my 2nd brain, documenting shower thoughts, placing them somewhere where I can revisit and even notice themes like writing this newsletter!

Here are some pen and paper prompts:

* Stamp cards! Rewarding myself and celebrating after doing X amount of hard things! Stickers are involved.

* Document one memorable moment from your day. Looking back at these moments reminds your future self of the value of being present

𖥔 Invitation to 'doing nothing': they say, 15 min a day of boredom is medicine to finding meaning. It's so hard to stay bored but I do notice it creates a gateway to slow down and notice my body. It's like a workout session for my attention span. And I'll know the training is working when doomscrolling in rapid pace becomes “weird” to me.

𖥔 Art journalling and conversations in a 3rd space. A community center, library, park, field, cafe, lounge area of a building or coming to our creative workshops (happening weekly now / see below!) have been points of connection away from just relying on the digital space. If you're feeling sad, lonely, or stuck creatively, being in a 3rd space can really help. It's a chill space if you're looking to make friends!

freedom of expression // freedom from perfection

I hope in the colder months we invite in duality. Softening while staying engaged. Resting while remaining aware. It's a time to do less, but that doesn't have to mean consuming more.

May this season remind us that we can log off and still be connected to what matters.

Thanks for tuning in,

Linda ♡

from our newsletter, written by Linda Lin, RCC, RCAT

Growing up my grandma who raised me always said, “friendships and learning to connect with others help us cross the bridges of life” 🪷 ୧ ‧ ˚ (this is roughly translated to English)

A couple of decades later, I find myself circling back to her wisdom, because building connections and friendships is active resistance to capitalism and individualism. Friendship is a refusal of a culture that tells us to stay polished, self-contained, hyperindependent, and endlessly ‘productive’.

But here’s the question, how do we actually build real friendships when we’re swimming in a culture that glorifies capitalism, perfectionism, and even buying into community, when it's dressed up as 'self-respect'?

via Pinterest

-`♡´- -`♡´- -`♡´- -`♡´- -`♡´- -`♡´- -`♡´- -`♡´- -`♡´- -`♡´-

Reciprocity is the heartbeat of relationship.

Robin Wall Kimmerer reminds us that reciprocity is the heartbeat of relationship. The Earth offers us gifts—berries, shade, clean water—not so we can hoard them, but so we can learn the joy of giving back. Reciprocity flows in a circle, isn't one-sided, sustaining everyone involved. It also reminds me of generosity, a value my mother taught me.

When we strive to live in the rhythm of reciprocity instead of keeping score, we learn to offer, and make room to receive. 

We make listening as important as speaking, holding as important as being held. 

 Reciprocity doesn’t keep score; it trusts that when we give, it returns in another form, in another season.

-`♡´-  -`♡´-  -`♡´-  -`♡´-  -`♡´-  -`♡´-  -`♡´-  -`♡´-  -`♡´-  -`♡´-  

sleepover and zine making a friend~

Prioritize connection > productivity! 

Individualism and capitalism teaches us to prioritize our needs above our communities and view relationships as transactional.

It's literally designed to keep us in disconnection and in loneliness.

There were so many days when I find myself after a full day of work and feeling so exhausted to make plans with people who support my nervous system and would interrupt these cycles of anxiety.

snippet of my friendship mantras zine!

✦ ‧₊˚ ⋅✦ ‧₊˚ ⋅✦ ‧₊˚ ⋅✦ ‧₊˚ ⋅✦ ‧₊˚ ⋅✦ ‧₊˚ ⋅✦ ‧₊˚ ⋅✦ ‧₊˚ ⋅✦ ‧₊˚ ⋅✦ ‧₊˚ ⋅

Rest and pleasure are portals to receiving care and love ♡

Especially when we are trained/conditioned to work, serve, and over-function, choosing rest, joy, pleasure, and time with friends is a way to restore love’s presence in our lives. Communion helps us interrupt cycles of hurt: healing personal wounds with relationships and those passed down through generations and systemic oppression. 

Prioritizing our needs is not above our relationships (capitalism/individualism) nor is our relationship above our needs (relational trauma/wounding).

✦ ‧₊˚ ⋅✦ ‧₊˚ ⋅✦ ‧₊˚ ⋅✦ ‧₊˚ ⋅✦ ‧₊˚ ⋅✦ ‧₊˚ ⋅✦ ‧₊˚ ⋅✦ ‧₊˚ ⋅✦ ‧₊˚ ⋅✦ ‧₊˚ ⋅

via Pinterest

⊹₊｡ꕤ˚₊⊹⊹₊｡ꕤ˚₊⊹⊹₊｡ꕤ˚₊⊹⊹₊｡ꕤ˚₊⊹⊹₊｡ꕤ˚₊⊹⊹₊｡ꕤ˚₊⊹⊹₊｡ꕤ˚₊⊹⊹₊｡ꕤ˚₊⊹

Communion is the antidote to loneliness and alienation! 

Communion counters loneliness and alienation. Our culture reinforces individualistic behaviours, which shape how we maintain—or let go of—relationships, like the drifting or disappearance of friendships in adulthood after life changes such as moving away, starting a new relationship, landing a new job, or having a child.

bell hooks reminds me in Communion that true connection invites us into intimacy, belonging, and presence. 

I’ve been practicing little ways of stepping off the hamster wheel, where I prioritize friendships and relationships instead of letting the system dictate my pace. I’m learning again and again that connection can be one of our greatest sources of nourishment and healing.

When we slow down enough to be with a friend, we’re pushing back against the myth that our value lies only in output.

Whether it’s cooking a meal together, walking or playing at the park, or even having an adult sleepover (SO fun), friendships are how we choose connection over keeping score, competition, and the endless busyness capitalism asks of us. 𖦹

⊹₊｡ꕤ˚₊⊹⊹₊｡ꕤ˚₊⊹⊹₊｡ꕤ˚₊⊹⊹₊｡ꕤ˚₊⊹⊹₊｡ꕤ˚₊⊹⊹₊｡ꕤ˚₊⊹⊹₊｡ꕤ˚₊⊹⊹₊｡ꕤ˚₊⊹

So here's to choosing each other in a culture that doesn't.

₊˚🍏 ྀ౿ written by yours truly, Linda

Community building events coming to Decipher this Fall/Winter!

✮ monthly TEAR CLUB! (anti-perfectionism) with Chloe, our art therapist .ᐟ.ᐟ ˚⊹

 

✮ weekly OFF-SCREEN HOURS art therapy drop-ins with our interns coming soon .ᐟ.ᐟ ⋆˙⟡

A space where we can build community, make art, and connect more deeply with yourself and the world! Think of it as a group therapy session, but in a fun, casual, community-focused way, away from screens and winding down from our week.

Also a perfect activity for rainy days with a friend or two in our studio located in downtown ‘Vancouver’.

Check back soon for updates!

quick note: this blog post is not written by AI. The writing below features ideas and wisdom of artists, personal journalling and newsletter writing, curated to what a therapist feels the world is needing these days. 

Image via @realizationbypea

from our newsletter, written by Linda Lin, RCC, RCAT

Be real with me… what is your relationship with time like?  ୧ ‧ ˚ 

When I am overwhelmed, time feels like the scariest, most unattainable currency that I cannot get back once it pasts by. From the hours, minutes to seconds, I find myself reacting to my thoughts, the ‘standards’ and shoulds on how I need to be spending my time and transforming it into something valuable, productive, ~rich~.

This obsession leaks into how I see money, work, relationships and I'd hate to admit this, my entire sense of self.

I’ve met so many people who try to force outcomes to ‘shape their reality.’ That might look like getting a perfect job with no career gaps or trying to appear as though they have their life together by a certain age (we're not even on linkedin btw •̀ ᴖ •́). Over time, those expectations can attach themselves to our identity and perceived reality.

via pinterest

The more we obsess over time, the more it breeds fear, frustration, hesitation and misalignment.

Did you know? 
Your energy is your most VALUABLE resource in life.

Therefore where you put your time and attention determines everything.

Instead of forcing outcomes, what if we start curating your reality with alignment, creative direction, and thoughtful refinement. Like an artist curating their work 𖦹

via pinterest

I journaled this the other day: “my relationship with time is kind, sweet, caring, full of life, light”

Perhaps mourning/stressing about time and next thing, which is heavy in weight, is dictating a relationship with time that isn’t valuable to me!

We cannot time hop in multiple streams of consciousness. 

So disappointing, am I right? It's really too bad that we can’t live in every parallel timeline like we are everything everywhere all at once. Trying to juggle all the goals, tasks, and “what ifs,” whether it’s making our days off perfect or savouring the end of summer, usually just leaves us with an abstract and confused state of feeling.

HOWEVER, I’ve been thinking a lot about quantum leaping, also called timeline jumping. The idea is that if you’re on level 1 and you want to get to level 8, it’s really about giving yourself room to believe that level 8 is just the next step, waiting for you.

Time is not something we need to centre and obsess over.

Thanks to this tiktok I watched last month, I've been on this case ever since. Obsessing about time traps us in procrastination, locks us into overwhelm, and confines us to cycles of productivity and capitalist urgency which are the very things we don’t want taking over our lives.

When our most easeful and fluid path (the realm where time flow exists) starts to blur under pressure, how can we anchor ourselves to remember how we want time and life to truly feel?

Here’s your art journalling prompt:

Draw and describe how fluid time is to you currently. Draw a portal that allows you to experience time the way you want time to feel.
 

Use your fave mediums: Mine are stickers, collaging, digital media like Pinterest images, sparkly gel pens, words, pencil crayons, oil pastels, coloured pens to express myself.

From this prompt, TIME IS A MEADOW came up for me. I call her, Mother Time. Instead of me trying to micro-manage/control time, or duelling it out with time, she is here to support me. This isn't a battle. I also don't have to mother time. Time is here for me and with me. I'm rolling with it and curious to what this art prompt will reveal for you!

TLDR; or don't feel like journalling? Try reflecting on this in the month ahead:

✩ Gently build curiosity by learning your unique rhythm and pace.

✩ Practice your ability to redirect and focus with purpose and intention. 

✩ Slowly expand your capacity for flow instead of control with time.

I see you! ⋆˙⟡ written by yours truly, Linda