“When did life stop feeling like this”

In the face of rapid life changes, and in the age of escapism while witnessing brutality from dying systems, the specks of our past can feel like a cushion we lean onto, seemingly simpler, easier, and happier than today.

This tweet is what prompted me to write about nostalgia as coping:

Nostalgia feels like a temporal preservation within virtual spaces. Nostalgia acts as an island we retreat to, an anchor in the face of hopelessness and restlessness. It's as if it were a freeze response to our overwhelming reality—a coping mechanism, offering us a brief respite from the uncertainty of a better future.

In times of despair and hopelessness, I tend to rely on nostalgia as a coping** mechanism. In Mandarin, there’s this phrase, 舍不得 (shě bù dé), which roughly translates to 'reluctant to part with' — that's how nostalgia feels to me. 

I find myself bonding with friends over our childhood memories, indulging in art forms like my favourite shows, listening to music by my teenage idol at the time, BoA, and scrolling endlessly on Pinterest to curate old internet energy and Y2K aesthetics into a mood board. In these digital spaces, the collective nostalgia of shared experiences emerges, eliciting a contagious, creative energy.

*Nostalgia: Nostalgia is not necessarily remembering the reality. It’s a deep longing for space and time that has passed, people we loved and/or loved us, a version of ourselves that is no longer accessible to us. 

Sometimes, nostalgic feelings bring up feelings of hopelessness and deep sadness about current-day reality. Some people refer to this experience as nostalgic depression, where the sentimental longing for the past brings up grief and disturbance.

**Coping vs. vs. processing (watch this tiktok)

• Coping is like a bandaid, or first aid. It can be validating, brings awareness and tends to an emotional wound when it shows up. To cope is the attempt to stay functioning through emotional pain.

• Processing is accessing our nervous system (the language of our mind and body connection)’s wisdom. It recognizes overwhelming experiences will be stored in our body. It often times feels more intuitive, trusting, understanding with context of emotional wounds.

The charm and power of art making as processing nostalgia

As we make art (a collaboration between our intuitive nervous system, the environment we are in, and earthly materials), we are choosing to engage with the full moment and a fragment of our experience being preserved beyond thoughts and feelings.

Art making breeds nostalgia, eliciting a contagious, creative energy! Art making can help with release and express emotions, storing them in the image so we don’t have to carry it all.

Here’s an art as therapy prompt for you:

(the steps act as a gentle guide and are completely optional)

1. Choose a specific time period you want to revisit from your past. Choose art materials, a playlist, a space, a comfort item (eg. a stuffed toy), or a snack to pair with this time period.

2. First marks: Invite your younger self from that time period to make the first marks. Express through your inner child you want to connect with. Draw/paint/play as if your younger self is making the marks. These may be symbols that you used to draw, or describing a feeling you remember fondly from that time.
Alternative option- embodied time: Connect with a space in time and make your first marks as if you were embodying that space in time.

3. What your younger self prefers: work with art mediums, textures, colours etc. you would have chosen when you were younger. 
Alternative option: what symbols, textures, feelings, and beings inhabit this space/world?

4. An essence of support: Collaborate with your inner child by bringing in your current self. What are some symbols or imagery you engage with nowadays that you would like to add onto this artwork to bring in an essence of support and witnessing?
Alternative option: What does your space in time/world need as resource and support? Add images for this space to feel safe and comfy.

5. Gentle check-ins with yourself - with both your inner child (or the space in time), and your current self: stretch, notice your capacity to engage/disengage, go for a walk or recharge in another room whenever you need it.

You DO NOT have to finish/complete this artwork or prompt in one go. Heck, you don’t have to complete anything if it doesn’t sit right with you.

6. Honour your art piece and think of containment and storage. Does the image need borders? Maybe you can attach your artwork in a journal. Or put a frame around it, if the image wants to be seen by others and yourself often. Where does your art piece want to be?

7. Bring in community. Work with a peer you trust, someone you want to share this with or an art therapist to support your emotional health with this exercise. 

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Hopefully this art as therapy exercise prompts you to engage in nostalgia as a coping practice. To bring in a time in space or reconnect and honour your younger self’s art expressions with the creativity from your current self.

Give this art as therapy prompt a try or gift this blog post to a friend who may enjoy it! :)

We have been socialized with the rise of therapy speech in the past few years to logic, reason and theorize our way through what may be going on. 

Unfortunately, therapy speech and intellectualizing goes against the grain when it comes to healing experiences of overwhelm. Those unprocessed feelings from tough times tend to hang around, recycling on repeat, while our bodies bear the brunt of it all. 

If you've been finding yourself grappling with self-doubt, feeling unclear and confused - you're not alone.

Have you been feeling discombobulated? Like you’re in a deep fog, doubting your every move?

To be fair, it’s not only you who feels this. The world has been hijacked with therapy speech all over social media. People have been intellectualizing their way to numb out difficult emotions in hopes of finding clarity.

But what if I told you that intellectualizing is what’s making you doubtful?

Therapy speech hijacks our emotions. Therapy speech is a defence mechanism.

Analytical insights may be helpful when we're writing papers, when we're trying to convey the narrative behind our concerns and challenging others to hear us out.

When we place logic-first, emotion-second, it makes us…

• feel discombobulated and exhausted, in an endless spiral

• minimizes and builds up fear around emotions

• feel irritated: increase in ‘prickliness’

• store stress in our body: gut issues, pelvic pain, headaches, bracing of muscles...

• focus is on fixing, not healing

• loss of self-awareness: disconnect from our instincts

• sound like “I know more than you” or contempt in relationships

• less trusting of others or willing to ask for help

Intellectualizing is a response and a coping mechanism of trauma.

Intellectualizing does not process trauma.

I put together an art-as-therapy and visualization prompt that you can choose when you want to give yourself a moment to slow down, contemplate, build unique expression and clarity by exploring with your creativity.

Here’s your Art as Therapy Prompt:  “Pieces of Your Perspectives”

Give this art as therapy prompt a try or share this prompt with a friend :)

Forcibly unwinding from overwhelm and trying to restore our bodies with a set time period during the holiday season is not easy. Coming back into the new year, I sense that so many of us are intentionally trying to find ways to slow down and are realizing that we aren’t the best at it.

Behind the front of busyness

You don’t get the point of rest yet. You may only know how to bounce back after hitting burnout, dealing with illness, or facing challenges.

But rest... what’s that again?

Symptoms of not knowing how to truly rest:

• irritability

• sensitivity around time

• indecisiveness

• permanence anxiety: “this is what it will always be” “I’m always going to be behind in life”

• internalized oppression and shame
  

You might not have noticed but...you are in survival mode.

Note the survival math:

• Pressure to achieve x y z by the end of the day or else the day will be wasted or ruined.

• The need to make sure activities for rest/enjoyment will work out and have benefits → “If I were to make art, it will only be worth it if I feel calmer.”

• Free time spent on others = acceptable
Free time spent on myself = time wasted

I don’t know who needs to hear this but...

You do NOT have to be a continuous improvement project for the new year.

Rest is NOT something that is earned or deserved!

DIS-EASE is a disease.

Two questions I have for you to reflect on are:

What are you preoccupied by when you are engaging in ‘busyness’?

Is this where your pain resides? Or is your pain located/hiding somewhere else?

 The Floating Perspective, popularized by Guo Xi (郭熙), a Chinese painter from the Song dynasty, is the type of perspective commonly seen in historical Chinese art with sceneries where there is not a single view of a subject, but rather several shown at the same time, shifting from near to far vignettes.

 

I wanted to bring this creative way of relating our what we go through into art as therapy and I have an art prompt for you!

 

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Here's your art as therapy prompt: 
An Image of Concern
 

Draw out a concern* you want to view or acknowledge from (a) perspective(s) that is supportive, from (an) angle(s) that is safe-enough for your capacity at this moment.

 

*If you don’t like drawing or painting, you are so welcome to make digital art, create a collage, a sculpture or look for images on Pinterest that can represent what your concern is. Ideas here are limitless!

 

Exploring your image of concern from different angles can look like:

• peeking in: through a barrier (like glass window, or from a door)

• zooming out

• from a birds eyed view

• through a container with the problem inside

• inviting in someone you trust

• like that iceberg visual aid to see what’s on the surface and what may be underneath …and more…

You are welcome to alter and change this perspective whenever you revisit this image in the future.

Please be mindful of the sizing, material, border, making sure the materials you choose can hold your image of concern.

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And some reflection questions when you finish your art making process:

 

• What is it like to express this concern into an image?

• How do you relate to your concern; and is there a shift with how you relate to your image of concern?

• Is there a portion of this concern that is externalized (aka. you are no longer holding onto or blaming yourself for)?
 

• How do you receive context from your lived experience of your concern vs. your image of concern? 

Receiving context can be: information gathering, perspective taking, the organizing of the story of concern, getting feedback etc. (ask Chat GPT: "how do humans receive context from a problem in their life?" if you're stuck here)

How did that go for you? If you wanted to share your artwork or thoughts, feel free to email me at linda@deciphercounselling.com.

Save this art therapy prompt and come back to it for another day. If you know someone who may like this, share this prompt with them!

Thanks so much for being here and trying something new!