“When did life stop feeling like this”

In the face of rapid life changes, and in the age of escapism while witnessing brutality from dying systems, the specks of our past can feel like a cushion we lean onto, seemingly simpler, easier, and happier than today.

This tweet is what prompted me to write about nostalgia as coping:

Nostalgia feels like a temporal preservation within virtual spaces. Nostalgia acts as an island we retreat to, an anchor in the face of hopelessness and restlessness. It's as if it were a freeze response to our overwhelming reality—a coping mechanism, offering us a brief respite from the uncertainty of a better future.

In times of despair and hopelessness, I tend to rely on nostalgia as a coping** mechanism. In Mandarin, there’s this phrase, 舍不得 (shě bù dé), which roughly translates to 'reluctant to part with' — that's how nostalgia feels to me. 

I find myself bonding with friends over our childhood memories, indulging in art forms like my favourite shows, listening to music by my teenage idol at the time, BoA, and scrolling endlessly on Pinterest to curate old internet energy and Y2K aesthetics into a mood board. In these digital spaces, the collective nostalgia of shared experiences emerges, eliciting a contagious, creative energy.

*Nostalgia: Nostalgia is not necessarily remembering the reality. It’s a deep longing for space and time that has passed, people we loved and/or loved us, a version of ourselves that is no longer accessible to us. 

Sometimes, nostalgic feelings bring up feelings of hopelessness and deep sadness about current-day reality. Some people refer to this experience as nostalgic depression, where the sentimental longing for the past brings up grief and disturbance.

**Coping vs. vs. processing (watch this tiktok)

• Coping is like a bandaid, or first aid. It can be validating, brings awareness and tends to an emotional wound when it shows up. To cope is the attempt to stay functioning through emotional pain.

• Processing is accessing our nervous system (the language of our mind and body connection)’s wisdom. It recognizes overwhelming experiences will be stored in our body. It often times feels more intuitive, trusting, understanding with context of emotional wounds.

The charm and power of art making as processing nostalgia

As we make art (a collaboration between our intuitive nervous system, the environment we are in, and earthly materials), we are choosing to engage with the full moment and a fragment of our experience being preserved beyond thoughts and feelings.

Art making breeds nostalgia, eliciting a contagious, creative energy! Art making can help with release and express emotions, storing them in the image so we don’t have to carry it all.

Here’s an art as therapy prompt for you:

(the steps act as a gentle guide and are completely optional)

1. Choose a specific time period you want to revisit from your past. Choose art materials, a playlist, a space, a comfort item (eg. a stuffed toy), or a snack to pair with this time period.

2. First marks: Invite your younger self from that time period to make the first marks. Express through your inner child you want to connect with. Draw/paint/play as if your younger self is making the marks. These may be symbols that you used to draw, or describing a feeling you remember fondly from that time.
Alternative option- embodied time: Connect with a space in time and make your first marks as if you were embodying that space in time.

3. What your younger self prefers: work with art mediums, textures, colours etc. you would have chosen when you were younger. 
Alternative option: what symbols, textures, feelings, and beings inhabit this space/world?

4. An essence of support: Collaborate with your inner child by bringing in your current self. What are some symbols or imagery you engage with nowadays that you would like to add onto this artwork to bring in an essence of support and witnessing?
Alternative option: What does your space in time/world need as resource and support? Add images for this space to feel safe and comfy.

5. Gentle check-ins with yourself - with both your inner child (or the space in time), and your current self: stretch, notice your capacity to engage/disengage, go for a walk or recharge in another room whenever you need it.

You DO NOT have to finish/complete this artwork or prompt in one go. Heck, you don’t have to complete anything if it doesn’t sit right with you.

6. Honour your art piece and think of containment and storage. Does the image need borders? Maybe you can attach your artwork in a journal. Or put a frame around it, if the image wants to be seen by others and yourself often. Where does your art piece want to be?

7. Bring in community. Work with a peer you trust, someone you want to share this with or an art therapist to support your emotional health with this exercise. 

Hopefully this art as therapy exercise prompts you to engage in nostalgia as a coping practice. To bring in a time in space or reconnect and honour your younger self’s art expressions with the creativity from your current self.

Give this art as therapy prompt a try or gift this blog post to a friend who may enjoy it! :)

We have been socialized with the rise of therapy speech in the past few years to logic, reason and theorize our way through what may be going on. 

Unfortunately, therapy speech and intellectualizing goes against the grain when it comes to healing experiences of overwhelm. Those unprocessed feelings from tough times tend to hang around, recycling on repeat, while our bodies bear the brunt of it all. 

If you've been finding yourself grappling with self-doubt, feeling unclear and confused - you're not alone.

Have you been feeling discombobulated? Like you’re in a deep fog, doubting your every move?

To be fair, it’s not only you who feels this. The world has been hijacked with therapy speech all over social media. People have been intellectualizing their way to numb out difficult emotions in hopes of finding clarity.

But what if I told you that intellectualizing is what’s making you doubtful?

Therapy speech hijacks our emotions. Therapy speech is a defence mechanism.

Analytical insights may be helpful when we're writing papers, when we're trying to convey the narrative behind our concerns and challenging others to hear us out.

When we place logic-first, emotion-second, it makes us…

• feel discombobulated and exhausted, in an endless spiral

• minimizes and builds up fear around emotions

• feel irritated: increase in ‘prickliness’

• store stress in our body: gut issues, pelvic pain, headaches, bracing of muscles...

• focus is on fixing, not healing

• loss of self-awareness: disconnect from our instincts

• sound like “I know more than you” or contempt in relationships

• less trusting of others or willing to ask for help

Intellectualizing is a response and a coping mechanism of trauma.

Intellectualizing does not process trauma.

I put together an art-as-therapy and visualization prompt that you can choose when you want to give yourself a moment to slow down, contemplate, build unique expression and clarity by exploring with your creativity.

Here’s your Art as Therapy Prompt:  “Pieces of Your Perspectives”

Give this art as therapy prompt a try or share this prompt with a friend :)

Underpaintings and impasto paintings* always reminded me of the history an artwork holds:

The layers upon layers of buried marks, hidden tries, vibrant stories and editions within a painting (aka. an experience). 

They remind me of the dimensions and depth of heartwork, that can capture the sad and longing parts of grief and their gifts of creation and fulfillment that comes with heartwork.

* Underpainting is referred in traditional art as a thin wash or layer that you build on your image; playing with tones, to create depth. 

Impasto painting is a technique in which paint is applied to a surface in a thick and textured manner, creating a three-dimensional effect.

Map of Grief / Gifts of Grief

Here’s your art therapy prompt:

In this practice, we will be tending to underpainting and impasto painting not as techniques, but as encouragement to make marks on a fresh blank canvas, revisit and build on our images as a container for your emotions. 

Here are the materials you will be playing with:

Your choice of paint**: watercolours, acrylic paint, gouache or oil

Your choice of pencils/crayons: pens, pencil crayons, watercolour pencils

Your choice of materials that represent gifts: cool stickers, sparkly gel pens, dried pressed flowers, glitter, etc. 

 

Part 1: A Wash ⽔ (water)

• Start off with a thin wash of your choice of paint as a base. 
• Let it dry.

 

Part 2: Depth ⼟ (earth)

• Layer on with additional washes, or working your choice of pencils/crayons, add onto your image to create interest or depth. 

• You may choose to play with symbols and metaphors in mind throughout this process.

• You can add as many layers as you wish.

 

Part 3: The Gifts ⼼ (heart)

• Hopefully this is a fun and enjoyable part: add on your coolest stickers, draw with sparkly gel pens, glitter, to represent the gifts of heartwork. 
• Play with symbols and metaphors in mind and let your unique processing run free!

• You may even choose to revisit the image again and again to add or edit more layers and insights.

 

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

**Please note that the more fluid the paint is, the less control you may have with the medium of choice. With this in mind, choose what you currently have emotional capacity for. Work with water-based paints with water-based pens and pencils or oil-based paints with oil-based crayons.

After you finish your art piece…

In a notebook or on a piece of paper (it can be on the back of your art piece too), scribble and note down anything that is within your capacity to reflect on from this exercise.

Here are reflection questions for you:

• Were there any moments of slowing down, points in time yearning for attention from you?

• If resistance showed up: can you name what tried to protect you from going into this exercise or going into points of your grief that may be too big to handle in the moment. You are welcome to draw the resistance out too.

How did that go for you? If you wanted to share your artwork or thoughts, feel free to email me at linda@deciphercounselling.com.

Save this art therapy prompt and come back to it for another day. If you know someone who may like this, share this prompt with them!

Thanks so much for being here and trying something new!

In the first half of this year, we have been going through global trauma from the pandemic. We are aware of racially motivated attacks against Asian communities due to COVID-19 and we have been speaking up on the heavy, intergenerational trauma of Black, Indigenous and People of Colour (BIPOC) communities across the world. These issues come up on our news feeds and in the conversations with our friends and family.

Advocating for social justice and dismantling systems of oppression is powerful, but can also be overwhelming and exhausting. Many of us are experiencing overwhelm and a heightened state of anxiety by the consumption and engagement of heavy topics so I brainstormed a few of my go-to art as therapy containment activities I have been working with to find lightness amidst the waves.

Practicing containment.

Containment means practicing healthy management of emotions, in times of crisis. Containment focuses on reconnecting to resources that are around us and coping strategies that work for us. If you are reading this blog post, you are probably looking for ways to take care of yourself so that you can show up or speak up with courage, compassion and awakened consciousness.

Here are creative ways to honour yourself, find containment and lightness as you intentionally engage with the heaviness around you:

Draw out your experience of the heaviness that is happening in the world today.

This directive can portray and validate what you are feeling and experiencing and can be a great alternative activity to practice mindfulness. Connecting our mind with our body is crucial during moments of overwhelm.

As any therapeutic art making goes, the process can be a contained expression of the heaviness we may be feeling. Containment in your art could look like the type of canvas/paper you draw on and the size of your drawing/painting itself, the materials you choose to work with, working with the language of emotions, a meta-verbal expression without the vulnerability of words to explain what is going on.

If you are looking for more containment, feel free to notice if your art piece needs a border, or somewhere safe to store the artwork. Some examples could be sticking on painter’s tape as borders you can decorate or leave as is after peeling off the tape, or finding an envelope to seal  and store the art piece until you want to revisit it when you are ready. I created numerous art pieces thinking of this directive in mind.

In the back of my art pieces, I love to note down thoughts of what I reflected throughout the creative process. A message I found myself writing down is: “The various issues that deeply matter to others and yourself may be more similar than they appear.” This made me reflect on marginalized communities and movements that we may be advocating for: destigmatizing mental health, SDQTBIPoC folks (sick, disabled, queer, trans, Black, Indigenous, People of Colour), the LGBTQ2S+ community, feminism, immigrant lives and experiences, climate justice and more. There can be so much kindness when we can see the commonalities between what we all stand for. 

What are the messages you express through your art making process?

Container exercise:
Visualize, design and draw out your container with these 3 components…

Design by visualizing and/or drawing the container.

The 3 components that goes into the design of the container:

1. Sturdiness: think about the material it is made out of. Think about the opacity, would you be able to see through what’s inside.

3. A 2-way system: so that you can put worries into the container and take things out of the container. 

2. The inside needs to be comfortable: Part of the design is about how comforting the container is for your fears and worries to stay inside until you are ready to deal with it.

Give the container a name so you can call it out when you are feeling overwhelmed. Write down the name at the back of the drawing to remember it—so you can name it to tame it!

Practice by walking through a recent incident that has been a minor disturbance (a 5/10 in terms of how bothered you are by it) and visualize you putting that worry or fear into the container, sealing it up and storing it away. You can always revisit this worry and deal with it or talk about it when you are ready. Practice this exercise often to solidify and strengthen your memory of this coping strategy.  The container is there to help hold what doesn’t serve you in this moment so that you can do what you want and need to do. 

Do you have a fond memory?
Find a photograph of a time when you felt light or draw out a fond memory that brings you peace.

Practice grounding with a mindful visualization or representation of a memory to contain and help manage overwhelm. This exercise can help to bridge more neural connections to those relaxing experiences and let that hardworking nervous system to rest and recharge.

To strengthen the resource, something I learned in EMDR training is to “tap it in” by doing the butterfly hug (crossing your arms to each side of your shoulder or chest and tapping), tapping your hands on your laps, or tapping your feet—alternating left and right at one second intervals.


I walked through this exercise by reminiscing the 8 hours I spent in Paris last year. Taking in all the senses of what I saw, felt, sounds I heard, and foods I tasted and smelled.

Although our window of tolerance may have gotten smaller, our creativity to adapt to our surroundings have gotten stronger. I have witnessed so much resilience from people around me and from my clients: from the abundance resources and offerings online to ingenious ways we are connecting with those we love. 

Hoping you can give these containment exercises a go and see if any of them can be added into your coping toolbox!