There's what it is. 

Then there's what it seems.

Recently most of my concerns shows up as what it seems like initially.

It's as if my actions seem futile.

It seems like like I'm losing it. 

My body, my business and my life seems like they're in their flop era.

Witnessing the age of the neocolonial internet where those who hold power actively outrightly censor untold stories of the oppressed and when allies share their activism, how shadow banned their accounts can become.

Here's what they don't want you to know!

How to access what it is and has always been:

In my community, folks whom I've been reaching out to are helping me to be able to call out all the ridiculous moments it has been seeming like to get to what it actually is.

Oppressive systems are built to prime and gaslight us to feel ‘what it seems’ like. Like we are fraud, or that nothing we do will help and we should just look away…
 

…when it is actually a healthy sign of your humanity if you have been feeling dysregulated, feeling the rage from the grief of witnessing.

Your felt sense of discomfort, grief and rage is living proof of the practice of unlearning and decolonizing. Indigenous teachings tell us that our bodies carry the knowledge, wisdom, pain and wounds from 7+ generations. Rage is our embodied wisdom. 

 If you feel like you are in the smack middle of your ‘flop era’, 
you are in the right place.

The place where there is:

• collective healing towards liberation

• unlearning and resistance from oppressive systems and practices

• access to what it is and to your lineage's wisdom

• emotional healing instead of spiritual bypassing

• creative ways to validate your experiences

• bravery to share wisdom, advocate and call up reps because you're a badass human who cares.

“We know too well that our freedom is incomplete without the freedom of the Palestinians” 

- Nelson Mandela

The essence of our shared humanity and collective healing is to build a container for one another until all of us are free.

Bearing the weight of the thousands of lost dreams and the lifetimes of deep sorrow that will follow won't be possible if we don't come together, continue to call and email reps for a ceasefire NOW. 

I have been reflecting how from the outside…

social justice-work,

work by creatives or

those who want to make change in the world,

…have become romanticized.

It's the work that drives us to go around what's been already mapped out.

It can be deeply healing and rewarding, and can also be gritty, hard work.

So, what does social justice-oriented care look like? It means that we are committed to providing care that is anti-oppressive and rooted in social justice principles. This means that we work to identify and challenge systems of oppression. We aim to practice being in accountability and collective care with one another. We know that social change is a slow and difficult process, but we are committed to the long haul.

Here are some justice-oriented practices we, as a group therapy practice and as therapists, are committed in doing:

1. We are committed to the unlearning, decolonizing and working with values rooted in the principles of anti-oppression/anti-capitalism, anti-imperialism, racial justice, gender justice, disability justice, and HAES alongside you. We are also committed to examining our relationships to whiteness, white supremacy, colonialism, patriarchy and cis-heteronormativity as we talk to folks who come across our practice.
   

2. We aim to organize and redistribute wealth as much as we can. We reflect and actively work through a scarcity and charity mindset to one that is in solidarity and in community. After all, this work is survival work.
   
   

3. We aim to uphold anti-carceral care towards nuanced experiences and mental health cases we work with. Aka fighting for a world free from policing. Consent is highly prioritized in our work with folks. We are continuously reflecting on what the therapy field does that may perpetuate harm and power dynamics in and out of the therapy room. 
   

4. The effort to flatten hierarchies in systems. We work from a horizontal decision making structure in our team where we have as many people and members make decisions as possible.
   

   
   Note: We get that many of the folks we work with are struggling with or don’t work in settings where they can advocate/speak up for their values, are acknowledged, and are feeling stuck. In therapy, we may be brainstorming ways to support you in these oppressive spaces and find ways to name out what is going on more clearly.
   

5. We aim to support people in most dire conditions and center in marginalized folks and voices that are most impacted first, always.
   

6. Generative conflict and communication. Dean Spade’s book Mutual Aid discusses how conflict can be reworked into something positive and generative rather than something to be avoided and left to fester. This can look like clear decision making everyone is trained in.
   

7. We are committed in our own healing. Because some of us have been through similar stuff like the folks we work with and part of their journey speaks to parts of us from different points in our life that we are still working on. This is probably a big reason why we want to do this work alongside you.

We want to work together with you to end oppression in all of its forms. When we say "with you", we mean it. Everyone has a role to play in social justice, whether it is big or small. Because social justice in therapy can support folks to be heard and felt.

My story: As a Canadian-born child of first generation immigrants from China, I saw my parents work weekdays and weekends. Even today, they rarely take a Sunday off for themselves. When I was a child, I remember how rare it was to go to Metrotown mall or to a nearby park for a stroll together as a family. Working has been a way for them to stay afloat overseas. They are also the first from their families of origin to immigrate to Canada.

What is Racial Trauma?

Racial trauma can be described as the experiences of growing up or living in an unjust society where there are discriminatory experiences towards marginalized races, cultures and communities. It can come from dealing with overwhelming experiences based on systemic racism, oppression, discrimination, rejection and shame.

Racial trauma are experiences and incidences that can happen at work settings, school, large or small institutions, within the intimate circles, partnerships, within communities such as living in towns where they don’t see many people who look like them. It could be activated by the exposure to the news of hate crimes towards a certain race.


My story: In elementary school, nobody around me spoke in my mother tongue until I was in grade 4. I remember my teachers put me and all the other POC kids in ESL class automatically because we weren’t white. I remember a high school English teacher told my mom I should never write English papers again. I had to retake English in summer school where I eventually got a higher grade.

What do the experiences look like for BIPOC folks dealing with Racial Trauma?

Manifestations of Internalized Oppression.

Imposter syndrome, Overworking, Self-policing, Racial Inferiority, Code-switching, Assimilation/White-washing, Self-Gaslighting, Scarcity Mindset, Internalized Anti-Blackness, Rejecting Ancestral Practices and Beauty, Shrinking, Internalized Othering…

Dealing with Discrimination.

Experiences of verbal harassment, micro-aggressions, and/or assault.

Isolation.

Overwhelming emotions of feeling “othered” or not seen by society. Wanting to be respected, seen and heard when we feel disrespected, unseen, unheard.

Rage and Anger.

When our problem is being invalidated and isn’t taken seriously, that is extremely upsetting. Where does the rage live when the systems we work at don’t address the problem?

Powerlessness and Helplessness.

Feeling stuck, feeling like we can’t change anything.

Intergenerational and Collective Experiences.

For example, children of immigrants witness or know of their parent/s’ sacrifice, struggle when they came while they try to translate + protect their parent/s growing up.

When our problem is invisible, not seen and unacknowledged by others, it can be traumatizing.

Are there any experiences from this list that you may be grappling with?

Collectively, we are just beginning to awaken and identify our identity as Asians and POC living overseas. We have been living in a society that refused to see our trauma, where our problems weren’t seen as problems, and are just beginning to fight for our experiences we have been facing day-to-day are problems worth exploring.

How can we talk about the current events and issues with our families and friends, whether you come from a BIPOC folk and/or White?

Speaking up and discussing these current issues are opportunities to practice showing up with vulnerability (for BIPOC folks: learning to take up space in this society where we are marginalized) and develop more awareness of where we are in our own racial identity journey and carry possibilities of transformation and healing (for BIPOC folks: knowing that these are issues that matter to us). 

At every moment, we have a choice to TUNE IN or TUNE OUT.

This process brings up HARD, sometimes activating, discussions to tune into. Grief, rage from injustice, anger, and the loss of innocence may show up. We may realize people around us might not be fighting for same causes and haven’t awakened in fighting for same injustice like we are. 

Exploring ways we can practice ‘tuning in’.

Tuning in could look like:
• Checking-in with ourselves
• Noticing PAUSES and discomfort
• Practicing ways to stand in solidarity with our lived experiences
• Unlearning and finding resources as we reflect on what we may be experiencing

Tapping out or tuning out look something like this:  “I don’t believe you”, “I can’t believe you said that”, or to ourselves, “Why am I still upset about this, I should get over it” or “I’m being too sensitive”. 

We need to get curious and lean in to that discomfort instead of pushing it aside. These feelings you are experiencing play an important role in identifying racial injustice and need to be named.  

Ask yourself: How can I stay with the discomfort; PAUSE; and begin to learn my own suffering’s edge?

"Justice is measured in transformation. We are not trying to fix something, [or] get answers. We are trying to unlearn, see and feel [the] oppression versus power [and] injustice."
— Resmaa Menakem, Somatic Abolitionism: The Shift from Strategy to Culture

The Flower Power Chart

Processing. How can we begin this journey?

We can’t discuss racial trauma from a neutral standpoint: unlearning, questioning, decolonizing  and expressing solidarity are ways you can show up in this journey. Racism is Trauma.

What are some questions you have been grappling with when you experience the reckoning of culture, power, dominant discourses, and systemic injustices? 

The Flower Power Chart can be an exercise you can begin to explore power and oppression. You may be considered ‘very privileged’ in a couple areas and ‘oppressed’ in others. Some identities in the ‘Other’ category could be Mental Health Disorder, or Appearance (how you look, dress, present yourself). Reflect on your experiences with each of the identities. I wholeheartedly believe that Every. Single. Identity on this chart is worth exploring. 

Whether you are feeling confusion, questioning, awakening, resisting, or advocating for some type of reform in our world, this chart can be a place to start on this journey. Unpacking, processing, and healing our identity(-ies) is HARD work, but it is so important that each one of us practice doing this work.

There is no prescription towards enlightenment: unpacking racial identity will be different and special from person to person. I hope that you continue to trust the process by tuning into and noticing what you recoil from and ‘tending your roots’ during this healing journey.

Here are some articles I have been featured in on racial trauma:

• Adler University In The Media: https://www.adler.edu/2021/04/09/vancouver-graduate-discusses-racial-trauma-counselling-on-canadian-news-outlets/
• CBC News on Racial Trauma: “Racial trauma counsellor sees spike in patients after increase of anti-Asian attacks” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_mNbi5Qty1A
• CBC News The Early Edition Radio show on Racial Trauma: https://www.cbc.ca/listen/live-radio/1-91-the-early-edition/clip/15834633-asian-canadians-seeking-mental-health-help-attacks-increase
• CBC News Article “Racial trauma counsellors in B.C. see surge in patients amid ongoing anti-Asian hate” https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/british-columbia/racial-trauma-increase-1.5967649

Also, I am hoping to facilitate some workshops on racial trauma and ways we can reclaim our racial identity. Stay tuned!

In the first half of this year, we have been going through global trauma from the pandemic. We are aware of racially motivated attacks against Asian communities due to COVID-19 and we have been speaking up on the heavy, intergenerational trauma of Black, Indigenous and People of Colour (BIPOC) communities across the world. These issues come up on our news feeds and in the conversations with our friends and family.

Advocating for social justice and dismantling systems of oppression is powerful, but can also be overwhelming and exhausting. Many of us are experiencing overwhelm and a heightened state of anxiety by the consumption and engagement of heavy topics so I brainstormed a few of my go-to art as therapy containment activities I have been working with to find lightness amidst the waves.

Practicing containment.

Containment means practicing healthy management of emotions, in times of crisis. Containment focuses on reconnecting to resources that are around us and coping strategies that work for us. If you are reading this blog post, you are probably looking for ways to take care of yourself so that you can show up or speak up with courage, compassion and awakened consciousness.

Here are creative ways to honour yourself, find containment and lightness as you intentionally engage with the heaviness around you:

Draw out your experience of the heaviness that is happening in the world today.

This directive can portray and validate what you are feeling and experiencing and can be a great alternative activity to practice mindfulness. Connecting our mind with our body is crucial during moments of overwhelm.

As any therapeutic art making goes, the process can be a contained expression of the heaviness we may be feeling. Containment in your art could look like the type of canvas/paper you draw on and the size of your drawing/painting itself, the materials you choose to work with, working with the language of emotions, a meta-verbal expression without the vulnerability of words to explain what is going on.

If you are looking for more containment, feel free to notice if your art piece needs a border, or somewhere safe to store the artwork. Some examples could be sticking on painter’s tape as borders you can decorate or leave as is after peeling off the tape, or finding an envelope to seal  and store the art piece until you want to revisit it when you are ready. I created numerous art pieces thinking of this directive in mind.

In the back of my art pieces, I love to note down thoughts of what I reflected throughout the creative process. A message I found myself writing down is: “The various issues that deeply matter to others and yourself may be more similar than they appear.” This made me reflect on marginalized communities and movements that we may be advocating for: destigmatizing mental health, SDQTBIPoC folks (sick, disabled, queer, trans, Black, Indigenous, People of Colour), the LGBTQ2S+ community, feminism, immigrant lives and experiences, climate justice and more. There can be so much kindness when we can see the commonalities between what we all stand for. 

What are the messages you express through your art making process?

Container exercise:
Visualize, design and draw out your container with these 3 components…

Design by visualizing and/or drawing the container.

The 3 components that goes into the design of the container:

1. Sturdiness: think about the material it is made out of. Think about the opacity, would you be able to see through what’s inside.

3. A 2-way system: so that you can put worries into the container and take things out of the container. 

2. The inside needs to be comfortable: Part of the design is about how comforting the container is for your fears and worries to stay inside until you are ready to deal with it.

Give the container a name so you can call it out when you are feeling overwhelmed. Write down the name at the back of the drawing to remember it—so you can name it to tame it!

Practice by walking through a recent incident that has been a minor disturbance (a 5/10 in terms of how bothered you are by it) and visualize you putting that worry or fear into the container, sealing it up and storing it away. You can always revisit this worry and deal with it or talk about it when you are ready. Practice this exercise often to solidify and strengthen your memory of this coping strategy.  The container is there to help hold what doesn’t serve you in this moment so that you can do what you want and need to do. 

Do you have a fond memory?
Find a photograph of a time when you felt light or draw out a fond memory that brings you peace.

Practice grounding with a mindful visualization or representation of a memory to contain and help manage overwhelm. This exercise can help to bridge more neural connections to those relaxing experiences and let that hardworking nervous system to rest and recharge.

To strengthen the resource, something I learned in EMDR training is to “tap it in” by doing the butterfly hug (crossing your arms to each side of your shoulder or chest and tapping), tapping your hands on your laps, or tapping your feet—alternating left and right at one second intervals.


I walked through this exercise by reminiscing the 8 hours I spent in Paris last year. Taking in all the senses of what I saw, felt, sounds I heard, and foods I tasted and smelled.

Although our window of tolerance may have gotten smaller, our creativity to adapt to our surroundings have gotten stronger. I have witnessed so much resilience from people around me and from my clients: from the abundance resources and offerings online to ingenious ways we are connecting with those we love. 

Hoping you can give these containment exercises a go and see if any of them can be added into your coping toolbox!