Racial Trauma and Unpacking Racial Identity

My story: As a Canadian-born child of first generation immigrants from China, I saw my parents work weekdays and weekends. Even today, they rarely take a Sunday off for themselves. When I was a child, I remember how rare it was to go to Metrotown mall or to a nearby park for a stroll together as a family. Working has been a way for them to stay afloat overseas. They are also the first from their families of origin to immigrate to Canada.

What is Racial Trauma?

Racial trauma can be described as the experiences of growing up or living in an unjust society where there are discriminatory experiences towards marginalized races, cultures and communities. It can come from dealing with overwhelming experiences based on systemic racism, oppression, discrimination, rejection and shame.

Racial trauma are experiences and incidences that can happen at work settings, school, large or small institutions, within the intimate circles, partnerships, within communities such as living in towns where they don’t see many people who look like them. It could be activated by the exposure to the news of hate crimes towards a certain race.


My story: In elementary school, nobody around me spoke in my mother tongue until I was in grade 4. I remember my teachers put me and all the other POC kids in ESL class automatically because we weren’t white. I remember a high school English teacher told my mom I should never write English papers again. I had to retake English in summer school where I eventually got a higher grade.

What do the experiences look like for BIPOC folks dealing with Racial Trauma?

Manifestations of Internalized Oppression.

Imposter syndrome, Overworking, Self-policing, Racial Inferiority, Code-switching, Assimilation/White-washing, Self-Gaslighting, Scarcity Mindset, Internalized Anti-Blackness, Rejecting Ancestral Practices and Beauty, Shrinking, Internalized Othering…

Dealing with Discrimination.

Experiences of verbal harassment, micro-aggressions, and/or assault.

Isolation.

Overwhelming emotions of feeling “othered” or not seen by society. Wanting to be respected, seen and heard when we feel disrespected, unseen, unheard.

Rage and Anger.

When our problem is being invalidated and isn’t taken seriously, that is extremely upsetting. Where does the rage live when the systems we work at don’t address the problem?

Powerlessness and Helplessness.

Feeling stuck, feeling like we can’t change anything.

Intergenerational and Collective Experiences.

For example, children of immigrants witness or know of their parent/s’ sacrifice, struggle when they came while they try to translate + protect their parent/s growing up.

When our problem is invisible, not seen and unacknowledged by others, it can be traumatizing.

Are there any experiences from this list that you may be grappling with?

Collectively, we are just beginning to awaken and identify our identity as Asians and POC living overseas. We have been living in a society that refused to see our trauma, where our problems weren’t seen as problems, and are just beginning to fight for our experiences we have been facing day-to-day are problems worth exploring.

How can we talk about the current events and issues with our families and friends, whether you come from a BIPOC folk and/or White?

Speaking up and discussing these current issues are opportunities to practice showing up with vulnerability (for BIPOC folks: learning to take up space in this society where we are marginalized) and develop more awareness of where we are in our own racial identity journey and carry possibilities of transformation and healing (for BIPOC folks: knowing that these are issues that matter to us). 

At every moment, we have a choice to TUNE IN or TUNE OUT.

This process brings up HARD, sometimes activating, discussions to tune into. Grief, rage from injustice, anger, and the loss of innocence may show up. We may realize people around us might not be fighting for same causes and haven’t awakened in fighting for same injustice like we are. 

Exploring ways we can practice ‘tuning in’.

Tuning in could look like:
• Checking-in with ourselves
• Noticing PAUSES and discomfort
• Practicing ways to stand in solidarity with our lived experiences
• Unlearning and finding resources as we reflect on what we may be experiencing

Tapping out or tuning out look something like this:  “I don’t believe you”, “I can’t believe you said that”, or to ourselves, “Why am I still upset about this, I should get over it” or “I’m being too sensitive”. 

We need to get curious and lean in to that discomfort instead of pushing it aside. These feelings you are experiencing play an important role in identifying racial injustice and need to be named.  

Ask yourself: How can I stay with the discomfort; PAUSE; and begin to learn my own suffering’s edge?

"Justice is measured in transformation. We are not trying to fix something, [or] get answers. We are trying to unlearn, see and feel [the] oppression versus power [and] injustice."
— Resmaa Menakem, Somatic Abolitionism: The Shift from Strategy to Culture

The Flower Power Chart

Processing. How can we begin this journey?

We can’t discuss racial trauma from a neutral standpoint: unlearning, questioning, decolonizing  and expressing solidarity are ways you can show up in this journey. Racism is Trauma.

What are some questions you have been grappling with when you experience the reckoning of culture, power, dominant discourses, and systemic injustices? 

The Flower Power Chart can be an exercise you can begin to explore power and oppression. You may be considered ‘very privileged’ in a couple areas and ‘oppressed’ in others. Some identities in the ‘Other’ category could be Mental Health Disorder, or Appearance (how you look, dress, present yourself). Reflect on your experiences with each of the identities. I wholeheartedly believe that Every. Single. Identity on this chart is worth exploring. 

Whether you are feeling confusion, questioning, awakening, resisting, or advocating for some type of reform in our world, this chart can be a place to start on this journey. Unpacking, processing, and healing our identity(-ies) is HARD work, but it is so important that each one of us practice doing this work.

There is no prescription towards enlightenment: unpacking racial identity will be different and special from person to person. I hope that you continue to trust the process by tuning into and noticing what you recoil from and ‘tending your roots’ during this healing journey.

Here are some articles I have been featured in on racial trauma:

• Adler University In The Media: https://www.adler.edu/2021/04/09/vancouver-graduate-discusses-racial-trauma-counselling-on-canadian-news-outlets/
• CBC News on Racial Trauma: “Racial trauma counsellor sees spike in patients after increase of anti-Asian attacks” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_mNbi5Qty1A
• CBC News The Early Edition Radio show on Racial Trauma: https://www.cbc.ca/listen/live-radio/1-91-the-early-edition/clip/15834633-asian-canadians-seeking-mental-health-help-attacks-increase
• CBC News Article “Racial trauma counsellors in B.C. see surge in patients amid ongoing anti-Asian hate” https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/british-columbia/racial-trauma-increase-1.5967649

Also, I am hoping to facilitate some workshops on racial trauma and ways we can reclaim our racial identity. Stay tuned!