Posts tagged decolonize
Feeling our Enoughness
 
 

quick note: this blog post is not written by AI. The writing below features ideas and wisdom of artists, personal journalling and newsletter writing, curated to what a therapist feels the world is needing these days. 

‘The Runaway Bunny’ by Margaret Wise Brown, illustrated by Clement Hurd

from our newsletter, written by Linda Lin, RCC, CCC, RCAT

What does it take to feel our enough-ness these days?

Lately in therapy sessions, in conversations with friends and family, and while recording the self-directed workshop series in collab with @friendlybureau on healing money (made for children of immigrants and working-class folks), I keep sensing a common thread. That we’re all experiencing a quiet, complex grief, each in our own way.

 

And one symptom that festers is the feeling of being stuck on a hamster wheel of proving.

 

There’s this unrelenting pressure to stay urgent, distracted, productive. Proving to others, yes—but if I’m unbearably honest, we’re trying to prove to ourselves that we’re enough.

 

My nervous system is so often on edge, caught in a cycle of not being there for myself enough—not resting enough, not reaching out enough, not building the right kind of structure. Always chasing a version of 'enough' that was never mine to begin with. These 'enoughs' don’t align with the values I want to bring into the world, or with what truly matters to me.

 

But when I slow down even just a bit, I become increasingly curious:
Do we know what our enough is?

Has it been named, clarified, or felt?

If we don’t know what enough is—how can we feel the enough?

When is enough... enough?
What even is ‘enough’?

 

Is the ‘enough’ we’re chasing actually important to us?

The attention economy: colonization of the mind

 It’s becoming harder to tell the difference between what we actually need and what the internet insists we should do.

Like taping my mouth shut so I don’t mouth breathe at night. Or doing facial yoga because I’ve been told my smile lines are deepening.

 

Each effort, well-intentioned, chips away at my energy: time feels tighter to the point where I want to hide in a dark cave, just to escape from all the noise.

Because there’s no actual importance, softness, appreciation of my life energy.

And that’s not even the life I want.

 

What if we could see that our body is trying its best—working so hard to meet the demands of the culture we live in?

Gentle reminders for you and me

 When we disconnect from our dreams, from presence—that’s a signal that we’re drifting from our body, our vitality, our aliveness.


Starting is enough.
Connecting our mind and body to witness how we react to the instability, unsustainable practices from these uncertain times, is enough. Like paying attention to our breath, we don’t have to change anything.

 

I believe that our bodies know deep down what doesn't matter to us and what actually matters.

What matters could be being witnessed, cared for, getting recognition or loved by those we hold close.

Maybe what matters is being of service because that is what heals us too.

Living with meaning, with pleasure, or with living dreams!

 

What if our collective aliveness is already in you—beneath the noise, quietly patiently waiting for you? 

When we confront the truth that we’re not here forever, something softens.

What if you are not existing and came all the way here to be excellent, but simply to connect?
To try.
To show up just as you are.
To bring something that matters to your soul.
To reach for life.

 
And as you find your way through all the noise...
you discover that you’re still enough.

 And that enoughness doesn’t define you either.

 
 
A Therapist who Advocates for You: Meet Natasha
 
 

If you have been looking for a compassionate therapist who advocates for you... I’m excited to share with you Natasha on our team! Find out what has been Natasha's journey like to becoming a therapist, areas she feels delighted to work with, and her current favourite resource!

What’s been your journey to becoming a therapist?

I have always played the role of the peacekeeper in both my biological family and in various friend groups growing up. I was the person people always came to, to talk with and to vent to. It’s a role I always felt comfortable in.

My journey to becoming a therapist however started in my first year of my undergrad where I originally started my BSc with the hopes of eventually being a dentist, however this changed after I did a work placement at the Edmonton Drug Treatment Court, which is an amazing program where people can get out of prison if they can prove their crimes were committed to feed their addiction. Individuals are then put into supportive housing, have a social worker, counsellor, probation officer and attend various groups and meetings and each week speak to a judge about the good they have done for themselves that week. I immediately knew after this week I wanted a career in the clinical counselling field and to specialize in both trauma and addiction.

Rainbow Brite 80s gif, a young girl sitting on a rainbow horse and a rainbow is shining through a globe she is holding up.

Being an Indigenous individual I also wanted to help my community heal from intergenerational trauma and to help with the process of decolonizing therapy. As I have seen first hand the effects of intergenerational trauma and the trauma Indigenous people have faced from the medical system.

I am also someone who is on their own healing journey and I really credit my life to the amazing therapists I have had. This has allowed me to believe in therapy with my whole being and understand how life changing it can be which also added to my own journey of becoming a therapist.

What are some areas and topics you feel delighted to work with?

I work outside of private practice at both a men’s treatment facility and at an Indigenous Health Center and in those places I work mostly with Indigenous individuals struggling with addiction, trauma, anxiety and depression.

In private practice I work mostly with BIPOC and/or Queer Folx and we work on a variety of issues such as trauma, depression, anxiety, life changes, etc. However, some of my most favourite work is long term identity work with clients. Working long-term to really unpack and come to know oneself.

Natasha is Splatsin First Nations and European femme therapist standing with confidence and with a kind smile on their face. She has medium length wavy auburn hair with blond highlights.

Do you have any tips for someone who is looking for a new therapist?

Definitely come with some questions to ask, my favourite is asking why the therapist got into the field. I also always remind potential clients to book a consultation as consultations are for the client to decide if they feel comfortable with the potential therapist as you feeling comfortable, safe and secure with them will allow you to have the most transformative experience!

Currently, what has been your favourite resource(s)?

My current favourite resource I have been telling all my clients and fellow therapists about is the book “The Pain We Carry” By Natalie Gutierrez, which is about healing from complex PTSD for people of colour (Linda highly recommends this book too!). I believe it needs to become a required reading for all therapists especially therapists who are white and working with BIPOC clients.

 
 
You are Not an Imposter. You're just Dealing with Grief.
 
 

"Imposter syndrome is a manifestation of the imposter system. Break free from it, for you are the true architects of change." 

- Angela Davis

 

To you with a body trying to survive in a world where diet culture and transphobia still exists… 


To you with a parental figure who neglects your emotions instead of honouring them…


To your younger self who didn't have the language or resources to see and react properly to what was going on…


To you who experienced hurt, so strong, that you have had to step away, numb from presence in order to survive and keep floating on…


To you who have lived through painful experiences, dodging threats, tone policing yourself to the point where you filtered too much of your true self out and you are left with an imposter identity that you can't even recognize…

 

You're not an imposter, you're just dealing with grief.

 

Grief demands our presence and shows us that we are indeed human. That our heart is working/doing their job. 

 

It's the essential part of heartwork: a practice connecting us fully to what we value and addresses our competency to understand and stand by what we are going through. 

 

Grieving and heartwork offers us the gift of choosing our humanity above all else: choosing decisions that are for us, not just the sake of avoiding conflict or ensuring ‘safety’ in face of a concern or threat (aka our good friend, fawning).

 

Heartwork, grieving and reacting properly to what had happened/is happening around me, addresses the very points that supports me to clarify and stay true to who I am.

 

"We are not imposters in our own struggle.
Our voices, our experiences, and our pain are valid and necessary."

- Assata Shakur

 

I hope grief and heartwork can become your ‘roman empire’ 


💭🏛️🕊️🏹✨


… the way it keeps you pondering on the daily and fascinated by it's magnificence
 

˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚

 

Resources on Grief:

These are based on my personal journey which can look very different from yours. I’m sharing this list with any of you who may need a place to start. 

Many of these resources are from folks I work with and friends who shared them with me over the course of my journey.

 

Words:

Gabbes Torres’ pdf on grief and trauma
Time is a mother - Ocean Vuong
The Wild Edge of Sorrow: Rituals of Renewal and the Sacred Work of Grief - Francis Weller
What my Bones Know - Stephanie Foo
Falling Back in Love with Being Human - Kai Cheng Them

 

Watch

“Everything Everywhere All At Once”
“Turning Red”
“Undone” (TV series)
"The Farewell"
“Inside Out”
“Riceboy Sleeps”

 

˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚

 
The Antidote to Scarcity and Individualism
 
 
 
 

Since reading ‘Rest is Resistence’ by Tricia Hersey in the wintertime, this era has been an opening for new portals for Rest.

 I've been feeling the Abundance!

I’ve been unlearning that treading on the hamster wheel is not how I can continue keeping up, but a response I feel from internalized individualist, capitalist and patriarchal messages I’ve been taught all my life.

 

And when I compulsively convince myself that I can’t ask for help, that I have to fend for myself to soothe the anxiety around my mental health or business side of things… a big chunk of this burden comes from individualism and historical experiences of scarcity from my family lineage that I have often heard about and witnessed growing up…

 

When your body has been activated in this state for this long, you may begin to mistaken this as the norm. 

 

Abundance is pretty new for me, and it's the opposite of capitalism's agenda, so it is supposed to feel ‘different’ and ‘not like myself’.

 

Being able to recognize that ‘not being able to rest’ has its roots in internalized messages of cultural legacy burdens from racism, capitalism, ableism, materialism, individualism and other -isms has been so helpful.

 

*:・゚✧*:・゚✧

 

One July night when I felt Abundance, I had to capture the moment. Here is what Abundance felt like that night:


”When Abundance is felt in my body, it’s the most satisfying, fulfilling sensation ever. Like the best nap I’ve ever taken. Or watching the prettiest sunset beaming through a landscape.

I feel myself put value and pride in the work I do, even when the workload seems invisible.

Abundance is noticing the space, expansion and openness to receive, being myself, not taking myself so seriously. 

Tempering my body to live a bit more courageously and authentically everyday.

I’m writing down these words immediately because I am still welcoming in Abundance from a culture struggling with scarcity.

 

I want to learn to embody Abundance.

I want to be Abundance.”

 

 
 
 

 

 

Here is the story of Ubuntu (credits to Abby who introduced this in our monthly peer group).

 

That’s what culture/community in Abundance can be like. 

And it exists already!

 

*:・゚✧*:・゚✧

 

I appreciate each and every one of you who resonates with some of these experiences: having complex feelings around slowing down, trying hard to unlearn and smashing the encoded messages around scarcity, capitalism and all the other -isms.

 

Investing in Relational Justice for our sacred bodies and minds. 
Collective Abundance and Rest is what will sustain us and help us survive this climate.