from our newsletter, written by Linda Lin, RCC, CCC, RCAT

There's what it is. 

Then there's what it seems.

Recently most of my concerns shows up as what it seems like initially.

It's as if my actions seem futile.

It seems like like I'm losing it. 

My body, my business and my life seems like they're in their flop era.

Witnessing the age of the neocolonial internet where those who hold power actively outrightly censor untold stories of the oppressed and when allies share their activism, how shadow banned their accounts can become.

Here's what they don't want you to know!

How to access what it is and has always been:

In my community, folks whom I've been reaching out to are helping me to be able to call out all the ridiculous moments it has been seeming like to get to what it actually is.

Oppressive systems are built to prime and gaslight us to feel ‘what it seems’ like. Like we are fraud, or that nothing we do will help and we should just look away…

…when it is actually a healthy sign of your humanity if you have been feeling dysregulated, feeling the rage from the grief of witnessing.

Your felt sense of discomfort, grief and rage is living proof of the practice of unlearning and decolonizing. Indigenous teachings tell us that our bodies carry the knowledge, wisdom, pain and wounds from 7+ generations. Rage is our embodied wisdom. 

 If you feel like you are in the smack middle of your ‘flop era’, you are in the right place.

The place where there is:

• collective healing towards liberation

• unlearning and resistance from oppressive systems and practices

• access to what it is and to your lineage's wisdom

• emotional healing instead of spiritual bypassing

• creative ways to validate your experiences

• bravery to share wisdom, advocate and call up reps because you're a badass human who cares.

“We know too well that our freedom is incomplete without the freedom of the Palestinians” 

- Nelson Mandela

The essence of our shared humanity and collective healing is to build a container for one another until all of us are free.

Bearing the weight of the thousands of lost dreams and the lifetimes of deep sorrow that will follow won't be possible if we don't come together, continue to call and email reps for a ceasefire NOW. 

If you have been looking for a compassionate therapist who advocates for you... I’m excited to share with you Natasha on our team! Find out what has been Natasha's journey like to becoming a therapist, areas she feels delighted to work with, and her current favourite resource!

What’s been your journey to becoming a therapist?

I have always played the role of the peacekeeper in both my biological family and in various friend groups growing up. I was the person people always came to, to talk with and to vent to. It’s a role I always felt comfortable in.

My journey to becoming a therapist however started in my first year of my undergrad where I originally started my BSc with the hopes of eventually being a dentist, however this changed after I did a work placement at the Edmonton Drug Treatment Court, which is an amazing program where people can get out of prison if they can prove their crimes were committed to feed their addiction. Individuals are then put into supportive housing, have a social worker, counsellor, probation officer and attend various groups and meetings and each week speak to a judge about the good they have done for themselves that week. I immediately knew after this week I wanted a career in the clinical counselling field and to specialize in both trauma and addiction.

Being an Indigenous individual I also wanted to help my community heal from intergenerational trauma and to help with the process of decolonizing therapy. As I have seen first hand the effects of intergenerational trauma and the trauma Indigenous people have faced from the medical system.

I am also someone who is on their own healing journey and I really credit my life to the amazing therapists I have had. This has allowed me to believe in therapy with my whole being and understand how life changing it can be which also added to my own journey of becoming a therapist.

What are some areas and topics you feel delighted to work with?

I work outside of private practice at both a men’s treatment facility and at an Indigenous Health Center and in those places I work mostly with Indigenous individuals struggling with addiction, trauma, anxiety and depression.

In private practice I work mostly with BIPOC and/or Queer Folx and we work on a variety of issues such as trauma, depression, anxiety, life changes, etc. However, some of my most favourite work is long term identity work with clients. Working long-term to really unpack and come to know oneself.

Do you have any tips for someone who is looking for a new therapist?

Definitely come with some questions to ask, my favourite is asking why the therapist got into the field. I also always remind potential clients to book a consultation as consultations are for the client to decide if they feel comfortable with the potential therapist as you feeling comfortable, safe and secure with them will allow you to have the most transformative experience!

Currently, what has been your favourite resource(s)?

My current favourite resource I have been telling all my clients and fellow therapists about is the book “The Pain We Carry” By Natalie Gutierrez, which is about healing from complex PTSD for people of colour (Linda highly recommends this book too!). I believe it needs to become a required reading for all therapists especially therapists who are white and working with BIPOC clients.

"Imposter syndrome is a manifestation of the imposter system. Break free from it, for you are the true architects of change." 

- Angela Davis

To you with a body trying to survive in a world where diet culture and transphobia still exists… 

To you with a parental figure who neglects your emotions instead of honouring them…

To your younger self who didn't have the language or resources to see and react properly to what was going on…

To you who experienced hurt, so strong, that you have had to step away, numb from presence in order to survive and keep floating on…

To you who have lived through painful experiences, dodging threats, tone policing yourself to the point where you filtered too much of your true self out and you are left with an imposter identity that you can't even recognize…

 

You're not an imposter, you're just dealing with grief.

Grief demands our presence and shows us that we are indeed human. That our heart is working/doing their job. 

It's the essential part of heartwork: a practice connecting us fully to what we value and addresses our competency to understand and stand by what we are going through. 

Grieving and heartwork offers us the gift of choosing our humanity above all else: choosing decisions that are for us, not just the sake of avoiding conflict or ensuring ‘safety’ in face of a concern or threat (aka our good friend, fawning).

Heartwork, grieving and reacting properly to what had happened/is happening around me, addresses the very points that supports me to clarify and stay true to who I am.

"We are not imposters in our own struggle.
Our voices, our experiences, and our pain are valid and necessary."

- Assata Shakur

I hope grief and heartwork can become your ‘roman empire’ 

💭🏛️🕊️🏹✨

… the way it keeps you pondering on the daily and fascinated by it's magnificence 

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Resources on Grief:

These are based on my personal journey which can look very different from yours. I’m sharing this list with any of you who may need a place to start. 

Many of these resources are from folks I work with and friends who shared them with me over the course of my journey.

Words:

Gabbes Torres’ pdf on grief and trauma
Time is a mother - Ocean Vuong
The Wild Edge of Sorrow: Rituals of Renewal and the Sacred Work of Grief - Francis Weller
What my Bones Know - Stephanie Foo
Falling Back in Love with Being Human - Kai Cheng Them

Watch: 

“Everything Everywhere All At Once”
“Turning Red”
“Undone” (TV series)
"The Farewell"
“Inside Out”
“Riceboy Sleeps”

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How do you relate to your struggles?

 

Is it hard for you to ask for help OR could this a product of individualism? 

Are you dealing with ‘body dysmorphia’ and unable to accept the body you’re in OR has diet culture been so engrained in this society and these messages profit off your hate on your body?

 

Is it just ‘depression’ OR have you been socialized to be and show up in a certain way that isn’t aligned with how you are doing?

 

Is the DEI agenda not working from the organization you're at OR has 'DEI' been taken over by white fragility and there isn't enough safety for you to call it out?

 

Is it that you are dealing with a creative block and perfectionist tendencies with your art OR are you stuck in an oppressive system where your creativity isn’t seen and has been extracted for profit/capitalist gain?

In therapy, I often question with folks the ways we relate and narrate our struggles:

 

where we have learned to take on the ways we carry burdens through guilt, shame, anxiety, fears and grief.

Here's a question for you (pulled from the book, The Pain We Carry: Healing from Complex PTSD for People of Color):

How much of your struggles are from personal burden and what percentage of this weight is coming from collective, cultural or family legacy burden?

The Floating Perspective, popularized by Guo Xi (郭熙), a Chinese painter from the Song dynasty, is the type of perspective commonly seen in historical Chinese art with sceneries where there is not a single view of a subject, but rather several shown at the same time, shifting from near to far vignettes.

I wanted to bring this creative way of relating our what we go through into art as therapy and I have an art prompt for you! This will be in our next blog post, so please stay tuned!

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