What does it take to feel our enough-ness these days?

Lately in therapy sessions, in conversations with friends and family, and while recording the self-directed workshop series in collab with @friendlybureau on healing money (made for children of immigrants and working-class folks), I keep sensing a common thread. That we’re all experiencing a quiet, complex grief, each in our own way.

And one symptom that festers is the feeling of being stuck on a hamster wheel of proving.

There’s this unrelenting pressure to stay urgent, distracted, productive. Proving to others, yes—but if I’m unbearably honest, we’re trying to prove to ourselves that we’re enough.

My nervous system is so often on edge, caught in a cycle of not being there for myself enough—not resting enough, not reaching out enough, not building the right kind of structure. Always chasing a version of 'enough' that was never mine to begin with. These 'enoughs' don’t align with the values I want to bring into the world, or with what truly matters to me.

But when I slow down even just a bit, I become increasingly curious:
Do we know what our enough is?

Has it been named, clarified, or felt?

If we don’t know what enough is—how can we feel the enough?

When is enough... enough?
What even is ‘enough’?

Is the ‘enough’ we’re chasing actually important to us?

The attention economy: colonization of the mind

 It’s becoming harder to tell the difference between what we actually need and what the internet insists we should do.

Like taping my mouth shut so I don’t mouth breathe at night. Or doing facial yoga because I’ve been told my smile lines are deepening.

Each effort, well-intentioned, chips away at my energy: time feels tighter to the point where I want to hide in a dark cave, just to escape from all the noise.

Because there’s no actual importance, softness, appreciation of my life energy.

And that’s not even the life I want.

What if we could see that our body is trying its best—working so hard to meet the demands of the culture we live in?

Gentle reminders for you and me

 When we disconnect from our dreams, from presence—that’s a signal that we’re drifting from our body, our vitality, our aliveness.

Starting is enough.
Connecting our mind and body to witness how we react to the instability, unsustainable practices from these uncertain times, is enough. Like paying attention to our breath, we don’t have to change anything.

I believe that our bodies know deep down what doesn't matter to us and what actually matters.

What matters could be being witnessed, cared for, getting recognition or loved by those we hold close.

Maybe what matters is being of service because that is what heals us too.

Living with meaning, with pleasure, or with living dreams!

What if our collective aliveness is already in you—beneath the noise, quietly patiently waiting for you? 

When we confront the truth that we’re not here forever, something softens.

What if you are not existing and came all the way here to be excellent, but simply to connect?
To try.
To show up just as you are.
To bring something that matters to your soul.
To reach for life.

 
And as you find your way through all the noise...
you discover that you’re still enough.

 And that enoughness doesn’t define you either.

For a long time, I didn’t believe in the joy and ease of sharing my work.

To be real with you, I’ve been on the verge of stepping away and battling with my ideas and creativity ever since I started Decipher 5 years ago.

Choosing to recommit and act on my ideas again and again: stretching industry barriers around how a therapist ‘should’ show up, facing parts of myself I tend to avoid or reject, like money anxiety and asking for help, adapting to changes in our world, and considering the visibility of Decipher.

If you’re anything like me, maybe you’ve noticed how the journey back to our imagination can feel unsupportive and self-betraying at times. Just when we want to begin something new or return to something meaningful, instead of meeting ourselves with softness, we default to harshness. Like why are we getting so hard on ourselves for even trying?

How is it that the very moment we want to access our presence and power, judgement, pressure, control, fear show up?

So in this blog post, our mini research question is:

"Whose imagination are we living in?"

On a personal level, I think of this quote by Audre Lorde: 
 

“In the cause of silence, each of us draws the face

of her own fear — fear of contempt, of censure, or

some judgment, or recognition, of challenge, of

annihilation. But most of all, I think, we fear the

visibility without which we cannot truly live.”

The fear of being seen shows up when we’ve learned to censor ourselves before anyone else gets the chance to. It shows up when the guarded protector part of me is activated. It doesn't pay attention to what actually nourishes me. It's what happens from living under harmful systems designed to cut us off from ourselves.

But facing the soul-crushing parts of the world asks something different of us. It calls us to slow down, to zoom out from the noise, to tune in to what really matters, and to show up with presence.

Those who monopolize resources, also monopolize our imagination

Let's just lay it out. I NEED you to pay attention to where your attention is going. 

We have to get crystal clear and pursue dreaming and building on our imagination. 

 We need to deprogram from the capitalism and the AI-chokehold it has on our psyche, voice and art.

There's a quote by a sociologist, thinker, African American scholar, Dr. Ruha Benjamin in her book Imagination: A Manifesto where she writes, “those who monopolize resources also monopolize imagination”. How is it that we can imagine a world where we can colonize another planet and fly over to get brunch, or design babies based on epigenetics or have AI systems that simulate people who have already passed away, but we can't imagine a world where no child is hungry or where violence is not a thing, where we are rooted in abundance and ease (instead productivity and urgency).

This is a reminder to myself, and to anyone who needs to hear this: 

💙 Let go of the pressure to be polished all the time in our craft. 

💙 Share your thoughts with people, even when they’re messy or unfinished. 

💙 Connect even in virtual spaces where we bring in quirks into our art, random edits, going off-script, with pauses, where something real breaks through instead of reading paragraphs with em dashes everywhere IYKYK. 

💙 There’s something powerful in expressing ideas just from our imagination, not ones from Big Tech!

Every time you share your sensitivities, ideas and imagination, they connect us and humanize us. 

I really want you to know that your perspectives and ideas are worth exploring and it would be such an honour for the world to hear and witness them ❤️

When we show up as we are, we give others permission to do the same too!
 

Somehow from 5 years of fearing visibility, I’m still showing up at Decipher, writing these monthly-ish newsletters, growing a community to co-create visions into existence!

Happy 5 years to this amazing community and everyone who’s stopped by or keeps coming back. I’m really grateful for all of you who make this space feel alive and full of possibility. Here’s to many more years of healing and dreaming together!

written by Maryam Dada, M.A., RCC
mildy edited by Linda Lin, RCC, CCC RCAT

Do you have a favourite fictional book and if so, what makes it your favourite?
Is it the characters? The storyline?
Or a bit of both?
Increasing research has come out around the therapeutic benefits of reading fiction and bibliotherapy.  

In this blog post, we’ll be exploring:
• the self-improvement fallacy
• why reading is an act of resistance
• how reading fiction both influences and amplifies our empathy and sense of self
• bibliotherapy as a creative approach to collective healing

The Self-Improvement Fallacy

In the 90s, we saw a big push towards reading self-help or psychological books that really influenced societies’ reading habits. It makes sense, when we think about therapeutic reading, we are naturally going to want to read educational, self-help, and informative books. 

According to market research, the self-improvement industry (books, podcasts, academies, courses) is only going to continue growing. While there is a lot of good and useful information in these self-help books, they often sway towards being text heavy, which can take some time for us to process and digest, and don’t always leave us feeling ‘improved’. 

On one hand, I understand the desire for accessible self-improvement interventions, and on the other, I worry about the implications of a society driven by “self-improvement” (air quotes intended). 

Self-improvement implies that there is always something to be working on. In other words, it operates on the belief that you, just as you are, are not good enough. 

From a therapeutic perspective, there is a difference between acknowledging things that would be helpful to work on…and believing that you always need to improve.

You don’t always have to be improving something about your life — in fact, this notion may stem from feelings of internalized capitalism and productivity. Instead, it can be helpful to ask, who benefits from you having these feelings? 

Why Reading Fiction is Key 

This is where fiction comes in. Human beings are experiential in nature. This means we learn best through experiencing something. 

Reading fiction is different from studying a text or absorbing information. The very act is experiential. When we read stories we are getting a first-hand account of a characters’ lived experience. 

We get to go on adventures with them, understand what they’re feeling, and take part in their journey. It’s a gateway into a different life or timeline, a peek into a world different from our own. That’s what makes reading fiction so invaluable, the opportunity to experience life from a different perspective.

Bibliotherapy is a gentle, creative therapeutic approach that uses literature, storytelling, and poetry to offer perspective, deepen insight, and support positive change in clients. Books can provide a form of support that allows clients to find comfort, wisdom, and emotional connection. 

“We are more alike than we are unalike”- Maya Angelou

The Therapeutic Benefits of Reading Fiction 

There are many therapeutic benefits to reading fiction  (Billington et al., 2010; Parker, 2018; Dodell-Fetir, Tamir, 2018) it can:

• ↑ our capacity to understand and relate to others 

• ↑ our empathy and compassion for ourselves and others 

• ↑ our social well-being—while reading we relate to characters in the story and that helps to both normalize and validate different experiences 

• Give us diverse perspectives on matters 

• Give us insight into other communities and groups

• ↑ our concentration and ability to focus 

• ↑ our self-awareness and ability to articulate 

• Allow us to slow down and process stories

• Help to regulate our nervous system

• Help us engage in an act of counterculture. In a fast paced world that lauds productivity as the standard, reading is an act of resistance. 

Increased Empathy and why it matters

Reading fiction allows us to deep dive into the human condition with its powerful capacity for resonance. We experience the spectrum of emotions from the protagonist and in doing so are simultaneously expanding, validating, and normalizing our own experience of what it means to be a human. 

One of my favourite quotes comes from Donna Tartt’s Goldfinch, on Art. She says:

“…even if we’re not always so glad to be here, it’s our task to immerse ourselves anyway: wade straight through it, right through the cesspool, while keeping eyes and hearts open.”

Increasing our empathy and our understanding of human behaviour, we take part in the struggle against moral apathy… or what happens when we no longer care about one another. 

James Baldwin famously said, “I am terrified of moral apathy, the death of the heart” 

Reading fiction is one of the best protective mechanisms against that struggle, precisely because of its relatibility. Given the current climate on book bans and universities censoring students, it is incumbent on us, the people, to question the systems at place, seek knowledge, and expand our awareness.

Have you read any famously banned books? If yes, consider why they might have been banned and what it means to sensor a narrative. Knowledge is our best ammunition against ignorance, and as a result against indifference. It's not only cool to care, it's crucial. 

Maryam is a Registered Clinical Counsellor at Decipher. If you like to explore themes in tv, media, or literature and how it relates to your life or the different things you may be going though, she may be a good fit.  She is currently taking new clients! Book a free consultation with Maryam today—available online and in person in so-called Vancouver, BC.

DreamLab : An Art Therapy Experience Rooted in Dreams and Inner Landscapes, Inspired by Marin Majić’s roundabout as part of CICA’s Art & Mindfulness series

The Art and Mindfulness Experience Series at CICA Vancouver is designed to explore the profound connection between artistic expression and mindfulness. Rooted in the belief that art is a powerful medium for healing and self-discovery, this series invites participants to engage in reflective and grounding practices through creative expression.

Art, in its many forms, offers a pathway to mindfulness by encouraging presence, introspection, and emotional release. Whether through painting, sculpture, movement, or sound, the act of creating becomes a meditative process that fosters deep awareness and healing. Our series harnesses this transformative power of art to create accessible spaces for mindfulness that center BIPOC, women, and queer communities.

Facilitated by artists and mindfulness practitioners from these communities, each experience is designed to hold space for collective healing and cultural storytelling. This platform not only nurtures personal well-being but also elevates the work of marginalized practitioners, providing them with visibility and opportunities within Vancouver’s art and wellness landscapes.

Event Details:

Save the date: Saturday, June 14, 3–5 PM

CICA Vancouver | Facilitated by our RTC and Art Therapist, Coco Huang

Only 20 spots available

Join us for DreamLab, the first workshop in CICA’s new programming series, Art and Mindfulness—a series designed to explore the profound connection between artistic expression and mindfulness. Rooted in the belief that art is a powerful medium for healing and self-discovery, these experiences invite participants to engage in reflective and grounding practices through creative expression.
Led by Coco Huang  a Registered Therapeutic Counsellor and Art Therapist at Decipher Counselling  this immersive 2-hour session includes dream journaling, grounding exercises, and sensory art-making. The experience begins with a walk-through of roundabout by Marin Majić, setting the tone for exploring subconscious landscapes and inner symbols through art.
Together, we’ll breathe, create, and co-regulate in a supportive space centered on healing, curiosity, and community. No prior art experience needed. All materials provided.