It's my (very Virgo) birthday in a few days and I've been feeling a mixture of not being able to catch up to this heavily socialized age, and amused by how I have been attempting to restore pieces of girlhood.

ੈ✩‧₊˚

When I entered the early years of my 20s, I related to my struggles very differently.

If I were to wear the lens of how I saw the world and myself from then, this would have been playing as a record in my head:

"I am unforgiving towards myself, coping with the fear of losing what is deemed as love and care through people pleasing.

When I struggle, I think that I am the burden. 

I have to get through this all on my own."

It's complicated because at the same time, I also know that my younger selves in my 10s and 20s have been very protective of me in the ways they knew how:
 

I made it a mission to save up financially in order to free myself from complex family dynamics (still navigating this). 

I always played the big, tough role as the eldest daughter taking care of my younger sibling.

I would always ask myself, “what else can I do” to help my loved ones, because I cared. So much.

I am so proud of how far I've come because today:

I'm in the era of doing one thing that ‘scares my family' (aka oppressive systems, culture, the authorities) everyday.

I'm in my sensitive, expansive and ‘not carrying the pain around with me’ era.

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

I am coming out from a very individualist life and unlearning the harm from being socialized by oppressive systems under the guises of love and care. 

The wisdom of forgiving myself of shameful narratives I used to carry as my own burdens 

+ 

being in relation to my struggles in a compassionate, liberatory way have saved me and…

I found sanctuary through my community's witnessing of how far I've come. 

And I wish the same for you folks too.

Sending you Virgo energy + softness + forgiveness + love,

Linda