What are the markers of your healing?

 
 

There can be a lot of complexity in our healing process. I’ve been reflecting on the question, how do I recognize I’m healing? What are markers that I am healing? Read below for some reflections from a human who thinks about healing for a living ↓

Transcript from the images above (and a few additional points because I like giving a little extra):

There can be a lot of complexity in our healing process. I’ve been reflecting on the question, how do I recognize I’m healing? What are markers that I am healing?

Here’s a case study:

I'm highly skilled at managing crises (even when no one asks), and when I feel overwhelmed, my version of spiraling or losing control manifests as hyper-independence and trying to help others regulate—sometimes to no avail.

Markers of Healing:

  • Asking for help

  • Being less tolerant of situations or people that overwhelm me

  • Building awareness of where my disappointment and rage come from

When I'm conscious of my capacity and focus on regulating myself rather than others, I can communicate more clearly about what's bothering me and how others can support me.

Healing looks really different from person to person. Markers can feel like I’m able to release something that I was bound to or restricted by. It feels expansive, courageous, a wrecking ball and other times, subtle, uncomfortable, unfamiliar, and awkward in our bodies. 

Here are a few maybe more obvious, yet challenging, signs of healing:

  • Differentiating between your present adult self and the past self who experienced those events, recognizing that what happened is no longer happening to you.

  • Recognizing trauma responses for what they are instead of internalizing them as shame or disconnecting from your body and your experiences.

  • Having a clearer point of reference for safety, security, and trust in relationships. You start to understand what these things look and feel like.

  • Accepting that you don’t always have to be right, perfect, or efficient. “Good enough” becomes an option, and rather than striving to be the best, you choose to relax more often.

  • When you no longer feel the urge to mentally craft a resignation letter every time you walk into work, and you’re actively using your extended health benefits to support your wellness.

And a few maybe less obvious signs of healing:

  • Noticing the contradictions of thoughts that sound like internalized messages of professionalism, perfectionism, or ableism. They are probably there to try to make sure you feel accepted by others. They are protector parts and are not needed as much when you are healing creatively.

  • Similar to the one above, you are making space to nurture the protective parts that have developed when you were wounding. For example instead of trying to let go/get rid of comparing your body with others, you notice that your worries of whether you can fit in and are accepted comes from internalized messages from generations of diet culture, sizeism, and patriarchy you are still struggling with. If these systems are STILL THERE, these thoughts will STILL EXIST.

  • Learning from the points above, you are noticing that if you are wanting single solutions for single issues, it doesn’t work. 

  • In relationships, instead of usual avoidant responses in your relationships, you might start experimenting with other types of responses, then see yourself shifting how you respond altogether. These changes don’t always look like healing, but your voice becomes clearer, and you have a growing awareness of different perspectives and more space to reflect.

  • You are no longer needing to heal your grief and wounds. That movement and growth in healing doesn’t always look like ‘recovery’ or getting to a new destination at all. Sometimes it looks more like awareness, understanding/forgivingness/holding space, grieving, weaving in and out and playing with familiar patterns with non-familiar ones. 

  • You are recognizing when we are dysregulated, it isn’t about the present moment, and the goal isn't just to calm your nervous system. It’s about finding relief and reclaiming your sense of agency and power. It's about rediscovering who you truly are: deserving, capable, and powerful.

  • You are choosing to experience and embody joy, creativity, connection as a way to liberate ourselves from the dumpster fire of this world.

TLDR;

How can we recognize markers of healing? (some main elements)

…when you’re able to claim your sense of agency and power

…when you can see more perspectives, a slow expansion from tunnel vision

…when you can differentiate what is present from an emotional flashback from the past

…healing can look like shifting from self-protection to self-awareness and a non-linear view on healing altogether

Be sure to sign up to our newsletter, Creative Ponders, where we share tidbits from our therapists, art prompts + new updates on offerings, delivered directly to your inbox!

 
 
Linda Lin